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| New Jokes |
| 05.27.05 (8:43 am) [edit] |
I've accumulated quite a few jokes/pics/etc since I last maintained this. Here's a couple.
A girl is standing at The Gates Of Heaven when she hears horrible screams of pain and torture coming from inside.
She says to St. Peter, "What's going on?"
He says, "That's the sound of new angels getting big holes drilled into their backs for their wings, and small holes drilled into their heads for their halos."
She says, "Heaven sounds terrible. I think maybe I'd rather go to Hell."
St. Peter says, "In Hell, you'll be constantly raped and sodomized."
She says, "That's okay, I've already got holes for that.
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The next time you're at a loss for words.
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.
3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.
5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!
6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.
7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.
8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?
9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.
10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.
13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuckl it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.
16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?
18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a fucking prick.
Thank You,
Management
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| Beer Pictures |
| 05.27.05 (8:34 am) [edit] |
At the request of ... well one person ... here are the pictures of my beer. They're not very interesting. I just promised I'd post them.
Thats pretty sad. I only have one fan now. LOL
This is the beer in the pot.
This is the beer going into the barrel. I had to kick around for 10 minutes after adding the yeast. It was a little strange and quite the leg workout!!
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| Sounding Board |
| 05.26.05 (10:50 am) [edit] |
I have more issues than Sports Illustrated sometimes.
Here I am. Just closed on a house with Julie. Almost all stress has been removed from my life. We're happy as can be. And I have managed to find something thats eating me up.
The situation: Julie dated this guy at the agency we work at before I met her. They dated a couple of months. No biggie. Well, before I met her, I had a few run-in's with this guy. He's a fucking asshole. Just before I got out of the Marine Corps, they sent me up there to fix his computer. He had gone through a couple of contractors before they sent me. He would verbally berate them, yell at them and not let them do their job. So they send in me, the big bad Marine.
So I go up there in uniform. He starts in on me about how I was just another incompetant from the Help Desk. I politely inform I don't work for the helpdesk, I'm not incompetant and I'm here to fix his system. He gives some more attitude and I ask him if he wants me to fix his system or not. He gives me the "Well, yeah!!". So I told him to shut the fuck up and go somewhere else. We had a few more verbal exchanges before the end of the day.
During this time, I talked to a few of the people that work for him. Of course they all "love" him to death. Most of them are very nice people. I was telling one of them how I just started dating Julie. He comes in and asks who it is because if she works here and she's good looking, he's fucked her. So I tell him. He says, "yup, I fucked her". I'm not sure what they had to do with anything. I asked Julie about it at the time, being sure to let her know that what she did before me is none of my business. She tells me she dated him for a few months. No biggie. He dumped her to go back with an ex (that he's still with and she works here too). At the time, I figured .. whatever. It doesn't matter.
Then the other day, I'm talking to one of my co-workers when someone screams from across the room. My coworker (A, as I will call him) tells the guy. The guy yells back "well who the fuck is that?? What the fuck do you guys do??". So I push my chair back so I can see who it is. Guess who? Yup, asshole. So I stand up and explain to him who we are and what we do. Side note, he's checking out the area next to ours because no one sits there now. So he says to me, well it doesn't matter because you guys are nobody and we'll be taking your area. Then he tried to square off with me. You know, the manly shoulder lunge. I about laughed in his face. As he's still over the partition from me, I tell A the story about when I met him. After hearing the story, asshole comes back over and apologizes. Apparently, he heard my story and placed me (now in civvies) as the Marine to told him off.
Anyways, this asshole is going to be moving in right next to me for six weeks. I'll have to talk by him everytime I leave my desk. And all I want to do is punch him in his fucking face.
Here's my question: Why is this bothering me so bad? Its not like I was the first guy Julie was ever with. I know that. Trust me, I benefit greatly from her experience. I wouldn't change her for anything. But for some reason, the thought that she slept with this asshole is driving me insane. I hear him or see him and all I can think of is him fucking her. And somehow he looks over his shoulder and says "see, i fucked your girlfriend".
Now to try and explain this. I'm not mad at her or anything. But somehow, I feel like I'm punishing her for her past. Its not right. I wouldn't like it if she did this to me. But I can't help it. Its driving me crazy. Hopefully, talking it out here will help me feel better.
So far its not ...
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| OK I guess I lied |
| 05.05.05 (10:31 am) [edit] |
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I'm bored. I know I said I wasn't going to post anymore. But I'm bored. I stole this off of thoolou's blog. She had a Marine headline and thusly it grabbed my attention. Anywho, this was amusing ...
I apologize, but its really hard to read. If you highlight the box, you can read it. Stupid fucking thing ...
Your Linguistic Profile: |
55% Yankee |
30% General American English |
10% Dixie |
5% Upper Midwestern |
0% Midwestern |
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| Two months |
| 04.14.05 (11:44 am) [edit] |
Wow!! I can't believe I haven't posted in almost two months. I suppose this blog might be my last. Lord knows tblog sucks monkey balls anyways.
My divorce was final on Monday, March 21st. Me and Angry Bear (who Julie and I now call pookie, long story) went to the court. Unfortunately, beeeyach showed up. She was in tears and emotional. She didn't have to be there, but because she was, she got to sit in the defense chair. How dumb was that??? Anywho, we're leaving the courtroom and she's in tears. All Steve and I wanted to do was run down the hallway screaming WHOOO HOOO!!!! I didn't out of respect.
New job is fantastic, Julie is fantastic. Toughest part about my life now is house hunting. The market out here is CRAZY!!! Life is pretty damn good.
With that in mind, the whole reason I started this blog is now complete. When I started, it was to work through all my emotions that led to my separation and eventual divorce. Looking back, it was a hell of a ride. It was made considerably easier by my support staff here on tblog, although most are not on tblog anymore. So I just wanted to say thank you and goodbye. I will try and keep in touch with those who still wish it. Although I will not post anymore, I will check back periodically. If you want my email addy, just let me know.
This concludes my story. Thank you and goodnight!!
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| Meetings |
| 02.24.05 (10:30 am) [edit] |
I had another meeting today. My boss finally got back from overseas. He's been gone all but 3 days since I've been working here. I did a lot of things while he was gone and today was the test to see if he would like what I did or whether I should look for a new job. Apparently, he's ok with how I'm doing things. He's a little shocked though. When he hired me, he thought he would be able to "mentor" me into his protege. He has since found out that I might be able to "mentor" him. He's surprised, but didn't seem too upset about it. At least the jobs getting done and he doesn't have to babysit me.
Its snowing like crazy out here today. Not much accumulation, just enough to make my commute suck. And the Time Nazi (Julie's Boss) won't let anyone off early to beat the snow home. Oh well. BTW, Julie looks sexy as hell again today!! She drives me nuts. She came to visit me during lunch today and I was extremely distracted. My "pointer" started acting up too. One more day ...
My divorce paperwork was filed yesterday. My lawyer is mailing Beeeyach's paperwork to her today. All thats left now is the court date. Hopefully, it'll be as soon as a couple of weeks. On that date, my divorce will be final. Yippeeee!!!
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| Every day a little more |
| 02.22.05 (11:53 am) [edit] |
I felt it this weekend. I fell sick ... again. For the third time in about 6 weeks. Last time she listened to me being sick to my stomach for hours and then had to take me to the ER. Yet still, she finds me sexy. I've lost most of my muscle tone during that time, since I can't seem to stay healthy long enough to make it to the gym more than once a week. Yet, she still loves me. I can't figure out why. But everyday I love her a little more than the day before.
I love her for being understanding. I've been sick and she's been taking care of me. She was cleaning the kitchen the other day, clanging pots and pans around. She took the time to kiss me on the forehead and tell me she wasn't "mad cleaning". (long story) She holds me when I need to be held and lets me hold her when she needs it back. She cares so deeply for everyone in her life. I sometimes feel bad for occupying so much of her time. It has cut away time that others use to spend with her. But I try not to keep her to myself. I'll take what is given and be happy that I got it. I wish everyone could know a love like Julie's. Its sweet, simple and full. I could not ask for more.
Sometimes I wished she didn't read my blog. But only because I don't want her to think I'm making this stuff up just to impress her. These are my thoughts and feelings and this is the place I can air them, semi-anonymously.
I had a lot more to babble about, but I actually had work to do today. Very unusual. Anywho ...
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| Just checking in |
| 02.10.05 (11:10 am) [edit] |
Wow. Haven't been here in a while. I don't think anyone I know is on tblog anymore anyways. LOL
Well, here's the latest in my overly dramatic life. I have nearly severed the beeyach completely from my life. I hired a civilian lawyer to file my paperwork for me. I got sick of fucking with it. If all goes well, my divorce will be final by the end of Feb. Whoo hoo!!
Julie and I are still doing wonderful. She looks gorgeous today too, I might add. We are both settling into our new civilian jobs back here at the same agency we worked for while we were active duty. The worst part about is her trying to figure out what she's gonna wear in the morning. Oh well, I suppose all women have to be neurotic about something. It could be worse!! :lol:
Once the divorce is final, Julie and I will begin looking for a place to buy together. We've done some searching around, but things sell so fast here, you really have to be ready to buy when you look. But we think we have it down to neighborhoods and such.
I suppose there's a shitload of other things going on in my life too, but I don't even know where to start. Things are fairly calm right now, considering how my life has been for the last 8 months.
Thats enough for now!! I'm off to poke around tblog and see who's still here.
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| The end |
| 12.21.04 (4:34 pm) [edit] |
So after all the hoopla and BS, today I finally go on terminal leave from the Marine Corps. Its been a long time coming. I guess I should feel happy. I have a good job, I won't have to deal with all the shit anymore, but somehow I feel very alone all of the sudden. Tomorrow I will wake up and never don a uniform again. I will no longer be part of a brotherhood that has been all I've known for years.
I shouldn't feel this way. Pretty much all I've received from the Marine Corps is a pile of shit. They shit on you, shit on you again and then shit on you once more for good luck. Why would I miss that? I can't answer that. But I will. I will be an outsider looking in. I used to have 154,000 brothers and sisters. Tomorrow I have one brother and two half sisters that I barely know.
I feel like my identity has been stripped from me. Everyone always called me Marine, Jarhead or some version thereof. Those names aren't fitting anymore. Worse yet, trust the Marine Corps to make you feel like you're leaving in disgrace. Not fit for duty. Of course it can't just be my choice to leave. Nor can they kick me out in a manner deserving of someone injured in the line of duty. Nope, they make you feel like shit on your way out. Like you let the Corps down. Its not my fucking fault my knees won't fucking work anymore. Why couldn't those stupid fucking doctors have just fixed my knees. Prolly for the same reason no one else can seem to do their fucking job right around here. Cuz they're fucking lazy!!
So thats the new challenge. Who am I? If I'm not a Marine, who am I? The answer is out there, I just need to figure it out.
For now, fuck the world. Leave me be. At least my dog doesn't care.
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| The peanut |
| 12.15.04 (2:41 am) [edit] |
Here he is, in all his splendor. He should be glad I don't have the pics of his first bath. They put some air hoses in the tub so it was like a jacuzzi. It was really cute. Anywho, here is Ty Jaden. I won't post the last name cuz then I would have to beat off all the stalkers after his mom. LOL
He's got really long arms and legs. He's a couple weeks old here I think.
Julie and Ty. Look how small he is!! *update* he's up to almost 5 pounds now!! (he was born at 3 pounds even).
Me and Julie and Ty. I'm his token male influence. All the rest of his acquaintances are women. Isn't that scary? LOL
I'll post more pics as I get them.
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| Latest |
| 12.15.04 (2:33 am) [edit] |
Yup, once again I haven't posted in a week. Its been busy. I've spent more time in my car than anywhere else I think.
Anywho, Friday is my last day working as a Marine. Technically, I'm still "in" until feb 27th of 2005 but I will be on terminal leave. I start up my new job on Jan 3rd. Kind of nice cuz for two months I will be getting paid by my new job and the Marines.
Its a little weird to think Friday will be the last time I will wear a uniform. Granted, I am my own person but I truly identify myself as a Marine first and everything else second. It will be strange to not have that identity anymore. I'm excited about it though. These last years have truly soured me on the military anyways. I always held them to a higher standard, but it seems that shitballs make their way to even the highest ranks of all the services, including my beloved Corps.
I can grow a beard now. I don't think I want to, but its nice to know that I can. I don't have to get my haircut every fucking week. I can wait until I NEED one. What a fucking concept!! And no more being held back because I only have three stripes on my shoulders. That will be the nicest feeling. Its crappy to know you're smarter and more able than pretty much everyone you work with and then to be told to shut up, not cuz you're wrong but just cuz they can cuz they are a higher rank. I don't know if that makes sense. Anywho ...
Other life updates:
- Julie = the love of my life. Everyday I love her more. Everyday she looks just a little more beautiful than the day before. She's wicked gorgeous!! (inside joke, sorry)
- Shannon might get to bring Ty (her premie son) home this weekend. I went over her place on Tuesday to put together his cribdresser and help her rearrange her house. She said I can post the pictures I have. I'll have to get more though.
- Divorce is going well. Although, my dumbass lawyer had 2 weeks to write up my Separation Agreement and it still hasn't even been looked at yet!! I wanted to file on Monday and now she is on leave until Monday. Dumb Bitch!! Fucking up my universe!! Also, I have to navigate the maze of paperwork in order to get divorced. Its much easier just to kill your spouse. At least if you go to jail, it only eats up a couple years of your life :) JK
I think thats about it for now. And I leave you with the Tigger song.
The most wonderful thing about Tiggers
Cuz Tiggers are wonderful things
Their bodies are made out of rubber
Their tails are made out of string
They're bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy
Fun fun fun fun fun
And the most wonderful thing about Tiggers is I'm the only one
IIIIIIIIIII'm *who who who whoooo*
The only one!!!
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| Ribs |
| 12.08.04 (3:26 pm) [edit] |
I just got back from eating dinner. Julie, Steve and I went out for some ribs. Well, Steve and I had ribs anyways. They were very tasty. The service sucked monkey balls, but the beer was good and the ribs were tasty. I'm well aware that I already mentioned that. Did I mention that the ribs were good? LOL
I officially have my offer from CSC. The pay isn't what they promised, but its damn close. I'll take the job anyways. Whoo hoo!!
And now its beddie bye time. Its only like 8:30, but I'm tired. Later!!
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| The latest |
| 12.08.04 (2:35 am) [edit] |
Phew!! So much to say, here we go.
The Corps has fucked me over. The PEB found me fit for continued Naval service, but my re-enlistment was denied saying that I am medically unqualified. Turns out this happens a lot and it should be no big deal. The Physical Evaluation Board's cop out is that they only determine whether I have a disability or not. They say I don't have a disability. Now my command should process me for an Administrative Separation before my contract expires. My command, in typical useless fashion, says I should go get a lawyer. AKA they won't help me. So my contract will expire and there isn't any other option for me.
This segways into the job story. As I thought about checking out a machine gun and going postal on my unit, I got a call from CSC (the company I REALLY want to work for). They are going to meet my salary requirements AND pay me a signing bonus. With that news, I decided its just time to move on with my life. I will get out and take this job. I start on January 3 of 2005. That is pretty cool because for two months I will be getting paid by CSC and the Marines. Oh, I missed a part. I will taking my remaining leave (72 days) which makes Friday Dec 17th my last day. Ironically, its also Julie's retirement ceremony. So things worked out alright in the end.
Last weekend, I took Julie out to a Bed and Breakfast in the Shenandoah Valley. It was a GORGEOUS place. We stayed in a little cabin with wood floors, nice big bed, hot tub and paintings, photography and sculpture all over the place. And she (the innkeepers wife) was VERY good. We bought a couple of her mugs. She made her own mugs. Its nice cuz they are not quite the same. Subtle differences in size and shape serve to remind you that they were indeed hand made. Pretty cool.
We also went to Luray Caverns, since we got free tickets. Here's the funny story for the post. As we are walking through the caves, I smell this putrid, awful smell. It was like cigarettes and body odor. BAD body odor. Like, I've spent two months in the field without a shower and never smelled that bad. Julie and tried everything to get away from this guy, but wherever you went, you could smell him. It almost made me gag a couple of times. We were gasping for air when we finally got out of the caves. Then, we did a maze. It was one of those mazes made from big ol' bushes. We had a blast. We decided every dead end was equal to a red light, which means we have to kiss. Yes, we kiss at EVERY red light. It took us about a half hour but we had fun.
I also closed on my house. Yesterday, I checked my checking account to see a balance of about $35,000. Thats enough to give you a heart attack!! In honor of this, I bought myself a box of cigars. La Flour Dominicana. Very tasty!!
I think thats it for now. Prolly not, but fingers hurt from all this typing!! LOL
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| Deep thoughts for the day |
| 11.30.04 (2:45 am) [edit] |
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| Random Pictures |
| 11.29.04 (4:42 am) [edit] |
I get the strangest shit on email. Here's proof ...
I told you ...
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| Turkey Day |
| 11.29.04 (4:30 am) [edit] |
I had a spectacular Thanksgiving. It was just me, Steve (my roommate, AKA Angry Bear) and Julie. Julie made us a fantastic meal. I sous-chef'ed for her. She made a wonderful 15 pound bird (which we still have leftovers of). Then she made stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes (to DIE for!!!), green beans and I made some dinner rolls to go with. The theme was organic. Not on purpose, mind you. We waited until wednesday to buy the turkey and thus had to find one fresh. What better place to buy a turkey than a Whole Foods market!! Thus, everything we bought was organic. Even the cranberry sauce.
Side note: Julie and I had a test. I asked her the ultimate Thanksgiving couples question ... whole berry or jellied cranberry sauce. She says jellied and I knew it was meant to be.
Lets see, today I am asking my commander to call the PEB and ask them what their reasoning was for declaring me fit for duty. Since, obviously, I am not. I think they thought I was getting out anyways and then I could file for disability through the VA. So essentially, they told me to fuck off. That would be great and all, but since I tried to re-enlist and was denied, that sort of blows that theory out of the water. The catch is, I don't think the board knew that. They ASSUMED!!! And everyone knows when you ASSUME you make an ASS of you and ME. Ha ha. Stupid fucks. I hope they rot in hell. I've gone through enough shit without having to explain every intricate detail of my life to some REMF pogue. Eat a dick. As they so eloquently put it, they don't deal in re-enlistments. If they don't, then why was I judged based on the fact that they thought I was getting out? Stupid REMFs.
BTW, REMF = Rear Echelon Mother Fucker. Basically, someone who simply pushes paperwork for a living, calls themself a "warrior" and yet fails in a consistent manner to push said paperwork and thus fucking over the "real" military.
I apologize to all those paperpushers who do not fall into this category. Not every admin person is a REMF in my mind. Many people DO their jobs and don't fuck over the people they support. They are not REMF's. Just wanted to clarify.
In other news, my Patriots are 10-1. What do ya'll know about that? Ha ha. What'chu know about Corey Dillon running over mf'ers? And in local news, The Redskins are playing for the top draft pick, but will prolly fall short of that too, since the 49er's and Miami are sucking balls better than the skins. Washington just can't win. Look on the bright side, you'll have a crappy ass baseball team to jeer at next year!!
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| How geek am I |
| 11.23.04 (4:49 am) [edit] |
Stolen from SheSpecies while she was wreaking mayhem in the parking lot. LOL
I AM 40% GEEK!  You probably work in computers, or a history deptartment at a college. You never really fit in with the "normal" crowd. But you have friends, and this is a good thing. |
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| Waiting Sucks |
| 11.23.04 (3:27 am) [edit] |
So I did something a little dumb last week. I made Julie feel ignored, unappreciated and insignificant. It wasn't something big I did, just something little I didn't do. I've apologized, but I still felt like a heel for doing it. Fact is, she's the most important thing in my life. Don't tell Lelu, but I love Julie more than my dog! You have no idea how big that is.
Anywho, besides my little brainfart, Julie and I are doing fantastic. She is retiring from the Air Force after 22 years of service to this great nation of ours. January first is her official retirement date, but her last day of work is next Friday, I think. So let me be the first in line to say, Thank you Julie. For giving 22 years of your life defending our nation. I know what sacrifices you've made to accomplish this feat. As an American, I am proud to know you. And personally, I am proud to be called yours. Love you!!
So now that she is retiring and I am getting out, we're starting to plan our future life together. On that note, my med board is complete but waiting on one signature. As soon as I have that, I can get my orders releasing me. Also, December 1st I close on my house. That will pay off all my debt, except for my car, and leave me with about $20,000. Not bad for a three year investment that could have gone to rent anyways. Yeah, so where I was headed with that is, she and I have begun hunting for a house. Yes, we are going to buy a house together. I'm excited!! I feel like there should be some sort of hesitation, but I don't feel any. I also don't feel that "just get swept up in the tide and let things go where they may" feeling. This is a carefully thought out plan and I like it. There isn't a doubt in my mind that I couldn't love this woman for the rest of my life. She balances me well and makes me happier than I ever thought possible. On the flip side, I've never been so secure with the way someone loves me. I don't doubt her. I don't doubt that she could love me for the rest of her life.
Alright, I'm babbling now. Damn, doesn't anyone know when to shut me up?? LOL It feels good to babble. I haven't been able to blog as much lately and with all the stresses building on this stupid med board thing, I definitely need a healthy outlet. It will all be over soon.
So, on the job front ... I've had interviews with two companies. Both jobs sound interesting and pay well. Not exactly wet dream well, but well. It about doubles my current pay. I have three more interviews coming up. Once those are all done, I will sit back and review the offers I have. Most likely, I will take the job that leads me back to DISA, the agency I work for. I like it here. Its a relaxed atmosphere with good hours and its with a solid company. There's another one I like too, but its more corporate than DoD. Not sure if I want to go that route. Side note: I look spectacular in a suit. I've been blown away with my own appearance. That doesn't happen very often. LOL
OK, done babbling for now. If you come here, please leave Julie a comment thanking her for her service. She reads my blog all the time and will certainly appreciate it.
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| Another day |
| 11.19.04 (2:56 am) [edit] |
My plan for the day? Finish checking out and then go fuck off and play video games. Yup. The pack is officially off.
I got another 500 views last night alone. And I've only posted once in the last month. Weird ...
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| Yes, I'm still alive |
| 11.18.04 (6:57 am) [edit] |
Its been for-ever since I've been on here. Know what the scariest thing is? I've had over 2500 hits since my last post, over a month ago. I got more hits when I wasn't blogging than when I was. Fucking weird ...
Anywho, life has been treating me pretty well, I've just been busy as shit. Getting divorced, selling my house, transitioning out of the Marine Corps, dealing with my medical board, trying to maintain some sort of PT schedule, friends, family, dogs and ex-beeeeyach's. Yup.
So, I could be out of the Corps (at least not working anymore) as of next week. That requires that everyone does what they say they're going to do, but still. In that case, I would be "Home, Awaiting Orders". Meaning, fuck off time!!! Yay!! I have a job offer already making a fairly absurd amount of money. I would be a gov't contractor working at the same agency I work for now, but in a much better organization than I work at now. I would start in January some time, which is fine because I should be drawing my full pay for a few months anyways. That gives me Dec to unwind and unfuck my life a bit.
Oh, let me back up one. Add "visit my friends who are having babies" to my list of shit I've been up to. Thats right, S, my quasi-boss and good friend had a little baby boy. Unfortunately, he decided to come 2 months early. He's a little 3 pound thing, but 16 inches long still!! He's all arms and legs. Really cute though. Almost makes me want one. ALMOST. Not quite. Anyways, mother is fine and believe it or not, baby is too. His name is Ty Jayden. I believe he was named after Ty Pennington. Yes, the trading spaces dude. Yup, the peanut (as I call him) is breathing on his own and I think she was even able to feed him the other day. He's doing exceptionally well for being a premie. I'll ask her if its ok, but I have a picture of him. I'll see if she'll let me post it.
Yeah, so thats what I've been up to. How are ya'll doing? Really. I have some decent fuck off time coming my way and I'm gonna try to kickstart my blog again.
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| Whatchya know about them Sox |
| 10.20.04 (2:10 pm) [edit] |
Yeah, thats right. Game 7 baby. Someone (I think it was a Yankee) said they knew it was going to come down to a game 7. They said we should have just skipped the season and gone straight to this. Ha ha. I hope we destroy the Yankees. Tonight, I will don my Yankees Hater hat to go with my Yankees Suck T-shirt and cheer for a Sox victory. Of course, you know what really worries me? Whoever wins this series will prolly be so worn out that they will lose to the NL team anyways. Just like the Yankees did last year. This IS the World Series. The two best teams are playing right now.
In other news, I had my first job interview and was told I'm hired. They said they would wait for my med board to complete, however long that takes. They even told me to take a vacation before coming to work becuz the job isn't going anywhere. Very nice. And because I was in a suit, Julie and I went out to dinner at a VERY nice restaurant up in DC named Galileo. Its run by Roberto Donna, who is apparently pretty famous in the culinary world. Of course, dinner (and 2 $20 GLASSES of wine) cost $220. Won't be doing that again anytime soon. LOL
The beeeyach decided to hire a civilian lawyer and is thinking about reneging on all our agreements. It would be really dumb for her though, because I would make out a lot better than she would. Dumb bitch. Why hasn't lightning struck her down yet?
Thats about it for now. Oh yeah!! And I'm going to the Pats game against the Jets, in New England, this weekend. Whoo hoo!!
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| Get a clue |
| 10.14.04 (11:36 am) [edit] |
For anyone that still thinks there was no reason to liberate Iraq ... GET A FUCKING CLUE!!!
http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/10/1 3/iraq.graves/index.html" title="http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD/meast/10/1 3/iraq.graves/index.html" target="_blank"http://www.cnn.com/2004/WORLD...
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| Air Force Enlistment Oath |
| 10.14.04 (8:14 am) [edit] |
U.S. AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Zoomie, swear to sign away four years of my useless life to the United States Air Force because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army and because the Marines frighten me. I swear to sit behind a desk and take credit for the work done by others more dedicated than me who take their job seriously. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I swear to uphold and defend the Constitution of the United States, even though I believe myself to be above that. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I know I'm not really in the military and I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better quality of life than all those around me and will at all times be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of my -- snicker -- "basic training," I will be a lean, mean, doughnut-eating, lazy-boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clo thes, Chairborne Ranger. I will believe that I am superior to all others, and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back with it. I will do no work unless someone is watching me (and it makes me look good), will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. I consent to never getting promoted -- EVER -- and understand that all those whom I made fun of yesterday probably will outrank me tomorrow.
So help me God.
Signature:_______________ __________
Date:________________
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| Army Enlistment Oath |
| 10.14.04 (8:13 am) [edit] |
U.S. ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Rambo, swear to sign away four years of my mediocre life to the United States Army because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue telling myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my drill sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I ever will see is a court martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my sexual -- er -- I mean, BASIC training, I will attend a different Army school once every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after boot camp, I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my ninth-grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home, because if I let her out she might leave me for a smarter Air Force guy or a better looking Marine. Should she leave me twelve times, I will continue to take her back. While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive at work every day at 1000 hours because of morning PT and leave every day at 1300 hours to report back to the "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam.
So help me God.
Signature:_______________ __________
Date:________________
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