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| Memorial Day |
| 05.28.04 (2:24 am) [edit] |
Today is not a silly post. It is a serious post, with one message. Thank you. Thank you to every man and woman that has ever worn a uniform in defense of the United States of America. This weekend, the WWII memorial will be dedicated in DC to thank America's greatest generation. It was a generation in which civilians took up the call to arms to defend the world. Its unfortunate that the media does not portray today's military in the same light. If you think German and Japanese soldiers weren't abused during WWII, you're smoking something.
My personal hero is Sgt Michael Strank, USMC. He was one of the flag raisers in the famous flag raising atop Mt Suribachi. He was born in Czechoslovakia, but his family moved to the US when he was still young. He grew up in a coal mining town in PA. When war broke out, he joined the Marines because he was willing to fight for his great country. Sgt Strank led his Marines during the invasion of Iwo Jima, losing many to sniper fire and booby traps. When the highest point on the mountain had been surrounded, he was ordered to take the hill. He and his Marines fought up the mountain, battling an enemy that was entrenched into the island itself through a series of interconnecting tunnels and caves. When the flag was raised, the island had not been secured yet, only a portion of it. The picture was supposed to be for the President as proof of victory. After the flag raising, Sgt Strank again took his platoon into battle. After rescueing one of his injured Marines, Sgt Strank was hit in the head by sniper fire and was killed instantly. I look up to Sgt Strank because he and I are very similar. When he led the assault up Mt Suribachi, Michael Strank was a 25 year-old Sergeant. I turned 26 in May. I question whether I would have the courage, motivation and intestinal fortitude to do what Michael Strank did. But if I had to do it today, I would. Or I would die trying. Because Michael Strank, like every other Marine that came before and since him, is looking down on me to carry on that tradition. Its a proud tradition of winning America's battles.
To all who have ever served in defense of this great nation ... Thank you. Today, I am going to Arlington Cemetary to thank Sgt Michael Strank, USMC, personally. I urge to find a veteran this weekend and say thank you. Although you may not agree with this war in Iraq, its those veterans who gave their blood, sweat and tears so that America could stay free. Leave politics to the politicians and go out and thank a veteran.
By the way, for all those book worms out there, a great book on the 5 Marines and 1 Sailor that raised the flag aboard Mt Suribachi is "Flags of our Fathers".
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| Terrorist Plot |
| 05.27.04 (7:41 am) [edit] |
So I think all favorite people on tblog have been abducted. No one posts anymore, no one's on tblurt, no one comments much. I'm pretty sure they've been abducted by terrorists. Its a Nazi, communist, Jihad plot to ruin my lunch hour with no one to talk to. (I work with idiots, I should mention this)
I managed to avoid the cicadas today. I changed cammies (my other ones smelled) and I think these ones are more camoflouge than my other pair. As a result, the cicadas can not see me stalking my way across the parking lot. Maybe I should try this concept on my boss. I don't think anyone's buying the "moving bush" routine though. Maybe I need the office camoflouge pattern. You know, instead of black and green it has file cabinets and computer monitors patterned into it. Right.
In other news, Kerry has decided to finally accept the Demo-serve-everyone-but-m ain-stream-America-cratic party nomination now instead of later. Accept it now, accept it later, as long as he loses, I don't care. Its bad enough they have to shut down the entire city of Boston to have this little shindig. According to democrats, it'll be good for business in Boston to host the DNC. But they overlooked one simple fact. If you shut down the highways, shut down the rails and shut down the buses ... NO ONE CAN GET INTO THE F*CKING CITY, YOU DUMBASSES!!!! The city will end up losing a fair amount of money over this. Smart idea, piss off the pillar of democratic america (massachusetts) months before the election. I'd love to see Bush take Mass. Hee hee.
Aaaaaaaand ... that'll about do it for today's show. Tune in tomorrow after I take my PFT (physical fitness test) to see how bad I did. JK. I can still do 15 pullups and 100 crunches in 2 minutes no matter how bad I get. After all, this isn't Abu Graib.
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| No finger up the butt |
| 05.26.04 (7:25 am) [edit] |
Yeah!! Back from my physical and no finger up the butt! Apparently, that doesn't happen until your 35. Remind me to stop getting physicals after I turn 35. I had an EKG done though. Didn't have to, but I asked them to. See, when I was about 2 (maybe 3), I contracted some strange disease called Kawasaki's Syndrome. No, its not related to motorcycles. Anyways, it can affect your heart. Some kids died, I survived, yada yada yada, wanted to make sure my ticker's still tocking. It is. So is just about every other part of me. Turns out I bleed just fine too. (they must have taken about a 1/2 gallon, what are they doing, feeding the vampires??). Oh, happy day ...
At least now I can eat. I haven't eaten since dinner last night and its almost noon. A wise man (woman?) once said, "Don't get between a Marine and his chow."
In other uneventful news, I was pegged in the forehead by yet another cicada.
Is it football season yet????
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| Mow the lawn day |
| 05.25.04 (2:21 pm) [edit] |
Apparently, its mow the lawn day at tblog. I think I read at least 3 posts about people mowing their lawn. I HAD to mow mine. Its so long I think it ate a child walking by going to school this morning. Oh well...
So now I look like the Swamp Thing. Covered from head to toe in sweat and grass clippings. Its kind of like being tarred and feathered, but different.
I got attacked by another cicada today. It flew in my window while driving. That'll teach me to enjoy a nice breeze! Damn thing sat on my seat belt, just staring at me with them big, red eyes. It was kind of freaky. It looked like whats-his-name from cocoon. I hate bugs.
I have to go in for a physical tomorrow. I wasn't scared at all until I remembered that when you get older they do the finger-up-the-butt thing. As if the "reach-down, grab-hold and cough" wasn't bad enough. I know all the women out there are going to say its nothing compared to a pap smear. You're right! At least I'm strapped over a table with some kitchen utensil spreading my ... never mind. I'll lose my PG rating. Yeah, right. There's something sort of erotic about that though. Females, that is. Lets not get confused here. I think every man has had a gynecologist dream. Of course its all fun and games until you have to look at a yuck-twat. That'd pretty much ruin things. Thats why some things are just better left to fantasy. Ha ha.
My cat wants to type. He's not very good. His english sucks. Come to think of it, I bet his cat sucks. He squacks more like a bird than a cat. He's confused.
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| This junk is funny |
| 05.24.04 (2:49 pm) [edit] |
I don't know who the hell Billy Connolly is, but this is hilarious.
Billy Connolly's 13 things I hate about people:
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know
where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change
the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it
is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people
do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No
tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking
floor.
6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?. Didn't really give me a
choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new,
then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement,
then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come
yet?. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?
10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So
what did they used to be? ears, Wellington boots?
11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No
it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an
image I really didn't need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't
insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a
McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger gets blank looks. Well I'll have
a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.
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| Trying to work |
| 05.24.04 (8:31 am) [edit] |
So here I am, trying to be good and get some work done and the person I'm doing work for disappears. And locks up the equipment he wants me to work on. Awfully hard to work on the PC if ... Oh never mind. So here I am, writing another entry, waiting to try and do some work. It was nice of my team to not only not accomplish a friggin thing while I was in training, but screw up the stuff they did try to do. Great. Spectacular. Stellar. I could go on ...
So I rented Matrix Revolutions the other night (Sat at 10pm after writing a 10 page paper on the evolution of optical networks). I'll try to sugar coat it as best I can. It sucked balls. Large, hairy donkey balls. As if it wasn't bad enough in the 2nd one when he makes it to the "source" and all excitement stops when a white-haired guys identifies himself as the "architect". Yeah, well I'm the mad sleeper now! I could barely stay awake. And Trinity's lookin old. Not so sexy in tight patent leather with a dumpy ass. I liked the French chick though. Oh and the fetish club. Nothing better than garters and machine pistols.
Is anyone else close enough to DC to be plagued by the cicadas? Its like biblic plague. I got assaulted by one coming through the parking lot a minute ago. I'm sure everyone got a kick out of that. A Marine, in full camoflouge, being dive bombed by about 50 cicadas at once. If I had seen me, I'da laughed.
Let me make another attempt at trying to get some work done. Riiiiiight ...
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| I need some help here |
| 05.21.04 (8:42 pm) [edit] |
OK, so I'm back from drinking. I went out with a friend of mine and his soon-to-be-but-wants-to-g et-back-with-him ex-wife. Yeah, it makes about that much sense to me too. Anyways, we go out, eat some BBQ and then go to a pool hall. At the pool hall, I get hit on all manner of old and fat women thereunto pertaining. Not that its not flattering, but ...
Here's my question. Why are only old women attracted to me? Why aren't women my own age attracted to me? My buddy's thing-a-ma-ex-wife suggested that women my age are either too self absorbed (read: snobby) or too shy to approach me. Since apparently other people actually read this, what do y'all think? I'm curious. I actually had a rather large woman fondle my ass on a airplane once as I was trying to squeeze by so I could pee once. I don't just mean a little cheek cuppage, I mean full fledged rubbing. I'd say its sexual harrassment, but I don't truly believe that males can be sexually harassed by females. Not possible.
Ooh, related real life story. Did you hear? Apparently some male Iraqi prisoners were abused by being "fondled" and "stroked" by female prison guards. Come on. If I'm a prisoner of war and they send even remotely attractive women to "fondle" and "stroke", I'd be hard pressed to leave. Men dream about this sort of thing. Do they not realize that? Anyways ...
Back to the story, so once again, I had my ass grabbed playing pool by one of the waitresses. She was not attractive. Not even after many beers. I guess that will be cool when I'm 60 or so. Nah, screw that. Hugh Heffner has the right idea. Make lots of money and date twenty-somethings forever. Of course, if I can't get a twenty-something now, that doesn't bode well for the future. Hmmm ...
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| Isn't it Friday yet? |
| 05.21.04 (2:36 pm) [edit] |
And viola! It is friday. Bout friggin time. Hey funny news story.
Remember that crap about how the US blew up an Iraqi wedding party the other day? Well, they mentioned that the wedding was in the middle of the friggin desert out near the Iraqi and Syrian border at 2:45 in the morning. Here's a question to all you hopeless romantics out there, cuz I know I'm an idiot. Who gets married in the middle of the F'ing desert at 2:45 in the morning?!?! Yeah, thats what I thought. Well, what you won't read about in the news is how the "wedding party" was actually 4 18-wheelers full of AK-47's, RPG's, Land mines and satellite radios (they're awfully hard to track compared to cell phones and CB radios). Oh ... and there were only 18 people killed, not 40. Oh, and there were only 2 women there, not 25. Oh, and they were both armed. Oh, and there were no children present. But, you know, who cares about insignificant details like that when you're trying to break a story. And don't bother to post a retraction. Its not like you accused to government (more specifically the military) of slaughtering a wedding party or anything. Christ on a stick, I told better lies when I'd stay out late in high school! F'ing media blows ass.
So my first week of training is over. I am now more router educated than I was before. I am well on my way to becoming a techno-jedi. The force is strong with me. It took a bottle of wine early in the week, 4 beers last night and pit stop for couple more on the way home tonight to get through it though. Best part was my instructor came out with me last night and tonight. I think he wants to hire me. Sweet!
Left the dogs out today. They were pissed. Hee hee. Serves them right. They're getting lazy in their old age.
Thats enough for now. To the beer ... march!
PS Thanks to raindropecho for being the first to actually leave a comment on my blog. People actually read this thing?
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| Yaaay, new stuff |
| 05.20.04 (2:20 pm) [edit] |
Ok, so I haven't posted in a while. Not that anyone's reading this damn thing anyways. Ha ha. I think thats kind of funny. What can I say, I'm in rare humor.
So I'm picking up slugs this morning, ... OK I'm going to need to explain that. In DC there are lines that people wait in to get into people's cars to go into the city. The people get a free ride and you (the driver) get to ride in the HOV (high occupancy vehicle) lanes. It means it takes 20 minutes to get to work instead of an hour and a half. Back to the story ...
So I'm picking up slugs this morning, and this hottie gets in my car. She has a postage stamp for a skirt on and is constantly "itching" her leg to make the skirt ride up even higher. She's asking me all kinds of questions and touching my hand, which is on my stick. (I drive a standard you sicko's!) Basically, this woman is driving me crazy. Now keep in mind, I'm a man of low moral standards. I notice a huge rock on her hand and she even shows it to me, but she's still touching me. She asks me out to breakfast. I said no.
Let me emphasize that. I said no. I think I'm friggin retarded. Old age has finally done it to me. I always said that every day I get a little dumber. Today it showed.
Needless to say I could think of nothing else all day. Whoo hoo! Lots of fun when you're in class trying to learn super-uber-techno-geek stuff all day. I'm trying to concentrate on router auto-summarization and all I can think of are her (freshly shaven, I noticed) legs.
Lots of other shit has happened but since no once reads this but me ... yada yada yada who cares. I already know what happened in my own life.
Final note. I want to go out drinking tonight, but its thursday. No happy hours (aka cheap drinks) and everyone has to go to work tomorrow. Futhermucker! Can't a guy catch a break? Where's my breakfast gal?
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| I just drank a gallon of colon cancer. |
| 05.14.04 (11:54 am) [edit] |
Dealing with stupid people is not fun. Remember that commercial where the guy passes his tech support and says "remember that email you told me not to open ... I opened it." That's what I have to deal with. It would be like going to your doctor and saying I just drank a gallon of colon cancer. WHY?!?!?!? Now from the doctor's point of view, he doesn't really care. I mean, its not like he's going to die. In the same respect, MY computer still works. But, damn its like they go out of their way. My favorite one was this old woman, who had to be at least 150 years old. She told me her internet was broken. I was installing a new PC to replace her old one, so I really didn't care much. After installing her new PC, she tells me she's going to "check it out" to make sure the internet works. She goes to the weather channel's website and tells me the internet is still broken. At first, I thought to myself, should I fake an incoming call on my cell? Should I pretend like I can't hear her (like she did to me when I asked her to login 20,000 friggin times)? Out of sheer morbid curiousity, I ask. What seems to be the problem? She then explains that the website shows a picture showing rain on it. "but look outside, its perfectly sunny. Can you fix it?"
Dude, where do I begin? How are you friggin stupid, let me count the ways. I politely explain to her how the internet works and that no, I cannot be responsible for the content posted on the weather channel's website. Now, here's the punch line.
That woman makes over $100,000 per year of your tax dollars. Count'em baby, $100,000. Yup.
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| Holy crap!! |
| 05.14.04 (11:19 am) [edit] |
OK. Here is my first blog. I don't know much about doing this, but I feel the need to voice my opinions to strange people who can't argue back. Sort of a scary feeling. It might take me a while to get used to this...
Its like public speaking, only with an infinitely large audience.
So about me. I work for the government, actually I'm an Active Duty Marine. Working for the government, I have lots of free time. No one [i]really[/i] does anything in the gov't. We get paid to sit around and do nothing. Basically, because people doing nothing are a lot less dangerous than people doing something. If you saw the intelligence level (or lack thereof) of the people I work with, you'd know what I'm talking about. But I digress...
I am a Senior Network Engineer. I am a super-uber geek, but don't get paid like it. I get out of the Marines at the end of this year, so the money will be forthcoming.
I am very opinionated, republican and stubborn as a mule. I believe in a Marine and his rifle. I believe that the crazy bitch in the Iraq prison is into some deep S&M shit. I have a plaque on my wall that reads " a man has to believe in something, I believe I'll have another beer". Oh .. and I believe that trying to BBQ (and I know the difference between BBQing and grilling) without drinking beer will anger the BBQ gods, who are very close with the beer gods, and you will either over or under-cook the hell out of your meat. So by god if that means cracking a beer at 7am when smoking up a pork shoulder, then I'll do it.
On that note, I think its time to leave work early and have a beer ...
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