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Busy Jarhead
06.30.04 (3:36 am)   [edit]
Sorry, I haven't been around much lately. Been working my tail off. Stupid Windows 2000 migration. Why is it that it is the year 2004 and we are just NOW migrating to W2K? Oh, I remember. CUZ I WORK FOR FUCKING IDIOTS!!!!!

Interesting question. If I were a superhero, what would my name be? As you all know, I already possess superhuman powers. So, I'm not talking about fitting me into an existing superhero. I'm talking about a name just for me. Given that all I can think about is taking leave for the next week and dollar draft night tonight, my name would be Beer Man. Sucking down brews at the cyclic rate and finding all manner of ugly, fat andor old women to touch my ass.

What do ya'll think?
 
Deployed Joke
06.29.04 (3:46 am)   [edit]
A Marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. AND, she wanted pictures of herself back.

So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures of women (with clothes and without) to his girlfriend with the following note:

"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."
 
Chickie update
06.28.04 (8:39 am)   [edit]
I can't help but notice that cyberpal is so good he's #1 [b]AND[/b] #2 on Hot Blogs. I have fallen to #16 and #17. Enough about that.

So I spent yesterday text messaging back and forth with this chick who is friends with the chick that I was with last Friday. She also happens to outrank me and IS in my chain of command. Very nice, way too much energy and says HOOOAH too much. lol If she read that, she'd laugh. Anyway, she tells me to not worry and ol' girl was just [i]surprised[/i] that I called. I said ok.

This morning, I slung my balls over my shoulder (according to Scuba) and went to her office to see her. It was slightly awkward for a minute, but then I told her I'm just an idiot and we should blame it on that. She says she would like to see me again sometime. I'm definitely up for that. I did re-confirm that she was indeed beautiful though. I was drunk that night, after all.

That was the abridged version and I will leave it at that to protect the names of the guilty. I don't think they know I blog, but I think its uncool to blog about people (who you care about even a little) without their consent. I try to do the right thing, whenever its convenient anyways.

Since I am taking this Thurs through next Tues off, I am going out this wednesday to $1 draft night at my 2nd favorite brewery. Its a place called the Rock Bottom Brewery. The beer is very good, but the food is better at my fav brewery.

I will try and take some pics to post. This weekend was completely boring, so there was nothing to post.
 
Cell phones
06.26.04 (5:41 pm)   [edit]
So there I am, sleeping on the floor of my buddy's place (Angry Bear) and I finally figured out how to download ringtones. During this process, I also discovered that there are many songs out there that just shouldn't be made into a MIDI.

I listened to many, most of which made me laugh my ass off. I finally decided on Bring me to life by Evanescence, Last Resort by Papa Roach (which sounds a little cheesy) and Blue by Eiffel 65 just cuz it made me laugh. I believe it was nominated for the worst song of all time on someone's blog once. Oh well. Every once in a while, even white boy's need to shake their backside. I could have done In Da Club, which sounds alright as a MIDI believe it or not, but alas, I'm not black.

In conclusion, I can now take pics, make calls, receive calls, download ringtones and send text messages. I cannot, however, figure out why the damn red light keeps flashing at me every couple of minutes. Why is it that I can build an Enterprise network from the edge to the core from scratch but I can't work a fucking cell phone? Life, it seems, has a sense of humor.
 
Saturday night, nothing to do
06.26.04 (1:49 pm)   [edit]
Don't you hate getting ready to make dinner and figuring out that you're out of garlic? I can't believe I don't have any garlic. Its embarassing. Any good cook knows you can't make anything decent without a head of garlic. lol

So last night was boring. Went out with a buddy of mine and his ex-wife and her "friend". Tonight doesn't hold much promise either.

Let me throw out a hypothetical situation here. If you had a one night stand with someone, but never exchanged phone #'s, then called a week later a friend of hers says she's been asking about you and gives you her number so you call and she answers the phone "how did you get my number" ... Is that bad? lol Perhaps I should have left well enough alone. She says she was worried about how I feel (I work in the same Agency as her and she is senior in rank to me) and thought about emailing me, but didn't. I think I'm just an idiot. I should have either given her my number or left it alone entirely. Now I just feel dumb. This is what being single is like, isn't it? Damn, this sucks. I thought being married was hard ...

So now, I will probaly order pizza. Since I'm feeling lazy and I'll probaly sit here and drink. I haven't just sat around in over a week. It feels kinda good.

Perhaps I'll blog more this weekend. A late night drunk entry? Maybe. lol
 
I've made the top ten!!
06.25.04 (4:15 am)   [edit]
I've figured out that no one has any idea how hot blogs works. Regardless, I have made the top ten. Yay!!

Its friday. Finally. Time to get my drink on. Well, not right now, its only 8am.

Here's a picture of my garden. Those are tomato plants that I only put in about 4 weeks ago. I think they're going to take over my yard. Anybody want some tomatoes? lol

 
More silly junk
06.24.04 (8:51 am)   [edit]
This is the type of stuff I get on email.

[i]You are driving down the road in your car on a dark, stormy night, when you pass by a bus stop and you see three people waiting for the bus:
1. You see an old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first. Or, you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to repay him. However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.

He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital and I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.

Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

HOWEVER... the correct answer is to run the old lady over and put her out of her misery, have sex with the perfect partner on the hood of the car, then drive off with the old friend for a few beers. God, I just love happy endings![/i]
 
My Inner Child
06.24.04 (8:36 am)   [edit]
This is so fucking true!! My childhood was stolen from me so I'm determined to relive it every day of my life. This also goes along with a conversation I've been having with Scarlett. Simple things make me happy.

My inner child is one year old today

My inner child is one year old!


Everything is new to me. I like watching the world
go by around me, and I don't sweat the small
stuff--or the large stuff, either. Just so long
as I stay warm and safe and dry, life's pretty
good.


How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla


PS This also may explain my obsession with boobs.

 
Curiosity
06.24.04 (7:27 am)   [edit]
OK. Ladies, I have a curious question. Most women want nothing to do with divorced men. Why is that? What is implied about a guy whose been divorced vice one thats the same age but still single? Let me know, if you don't mind.

For the record, I don't have a complex about this. I am who I am and no one's gonna change that. On the same token, I'm proud of who I am. I'm just curious, thats all.
 
What every office needs
06.24.04 (5:46 am)   [edit]
Is it fucking friday yet?!?! Damn its been a long week.

This pic gives new meaning to "water cooler crowd".

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...

What ever happened to the good old days of liquid lunches?
 
Arab prostitution
06.23.04 (4:27 am)   [edit]
DayDrmBlvr has inspired me to share my story about arab prostitution.

I was deployed to Bahrain for 3 months in 2002. Now, Bahrain is a tiny little island country off the coast of Saudi Arabia and is directly across the Persian Gulf from Afghanistan. Its a muslim country, but they don't live by islamic laws. The people there drink, smoke and go to bars and gamble and everything else that makes Las Vegas great. In fact, it is often called the Arab Vegas.

Most Bahraini's are pretty normal. They don't drink excessively or anything, because they are allowed to so its not a big deal. The Saudi's on the other hand ...

They would come over for the weekend (friday and sat, so thurs night is like our fri night) and get shitfaced. I mean absolutely frieking annihilated. Now some Arabs would come to the bars that were for AmericansEuropeans. They usually had a filipino band playing cover tunes of American bands. However, there were also Arab bars over there.

We would walk by the arab bars a lot and you would hear the crazy arab music. Kind of like the music you would hear on that old cartoon Sha-Zam (spelling?). I always wondered what went on in those bars, so one day, completely destroyed, we decide to go check it out.

We walk in and its really dark. There's a small stage and the crazy arab music is being [i]blasted[/i] in your ears. There's all these guys in robes, we're quite obviously the only westerners in there. We order a beer, which costs 2 dinar (like 6 bucks!!!).

So you look up on stage, and there are all these women, mostly pretty young (early 20's, no lolitas) dressed in like prom dresses. Thats the only way to describe them. They were like prom dresses. Poofy sleeves, crazy necklines, strange patterns, [i]really[/i] strange colors, etc ...

So we watch them for a few mins. They just run around like playing tag, in prom dresses, giggling at each other. Now of course, being American, I'm waiting to see some titties or something. After about 10 minutes, I ask an Arab who speaks english. He informs me that this is all they do. They run around on stage giggling and dancing (crazy arab dancing mind you). Every half hour or so they come down from the stage and for 30-50 dinar they will sit and have a soda with you. Keep in mind, thats over $100!!! I ask the arab again, do you get to take them home after? No, he says. They just sit and have a drink with you. Most of the Arabs pay the money and just sit there staring into the women's eyes.

And you wonder why our cultures can't connect. I never went to another arab bar again. I dropped way too much money for absolutely nothing. Perhaps they're confused about how prostitution is supposed to work ...
 
The pinnacle of Blog life
06.22.04 (9:38 am)   [edit]
I have reached the pinnacle of my blog life. I am poised at number 11, ready to make my move into the top ten on hot blogs. I know I can do it. I could possibly take a page from Scuba's playbook (oh master of the sexual innuendo) or post lots of naked pics of women and let tblog's male population propel me into the top ten. Or I could post lots of naked pics of myself and let Krazedone carry me to #1!!

*fell out of chair laughing*

But alas, I will probably just keep doing what I'm doing. Its done me well so far. I'm still amazed that people read this thing though. I shouldn't be so nieve to think I'm the only one that doesn't do anything all day except surf the internet.

Enough of this, back to work.
 
Pics of me
06.22.04 (4:05 am)   [edit]
Ha ha ha ha. Ya'll thought it was pics of my ass or some shit didn't you. LMFAO!!

Just for Scuba and J, pics of my feet.

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...

I love my new toy!!
 
Good day
06.22.04 (3:59 am)   [edit]
I just feel fantastic today. Wish it was Friday. I had a pretty good night's sleep. Got to sleep in my own house. Not in my own bed, but in my own house. She's still trying to find a place and in the mean time we figured we're both adult enough to stay in the same house. If nothing else, to save money. I have to keep fending her off with a stick though. She's horny. I am too, but I don't want to confuse things right now.

I played with my phone a little more last night. I figured out how to take pics of myself. My phone has a little mirror on the front side that shows you what the camera sees. Forgive me, I'm a Marine. Speak slowly using small words. I tried to figure out how to download ringtones but I couldn't figure that out either. I do have voicemail now at least. I'm thinking about getting rid of my home phone though. Paying for the stupid cell and a home phone is just too much. I can only be one place at once anyways. Plus I have about 3 billion minutes on my plan anyways. I'm exactly the yappy type. What do ya'll think? Should I ditch the home phone?

Thank you to all my e-friends who were so kind to me after posting the story of my life, the abridged version. Ya'll are sweet when you want to be. :)
 
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
06.21.04 (8:48 am)   [edit]
Trust me ...

http://www.threebrain.com/weeeeee.shtml" title="http://www.threebrain.com/weeeeee.shtml" target="_blank"http://www.threebrain.com/wee...
 
Pictures
06.21.04 (8:25 am)   [edit]
I forgot to tell everyone, I got a camera phone yesterday. Its an LG6000. I have no idea if thats good or not. It seems cool and the calls are a lot clearer than the dinosaur the gov't issued me.

The point I'm getting to is, now I have the ability to take pics and ... dun dun dun ... post them!! I have taken a special picture just for Scuba. I'll try and post it tonight. Ha ha ha ha! Just wait and see!
 
Much goings on
06.21.04 (7:52 am)   [edit]
OK, this is not a serious blog, nor a humerous blog. Its a story-of-my-life blog.

This past weekend, after 6 years of marraige and much talking, my wife and I officially separated. We should have done so a LONG time ago, but we both just kept trying to make things work. I attribute it mostly to the fact that we got married young (i was 20, she was 19) and the fact that I'm an asshole. Although, its not totally my fault, but I will take that blame which I deserve. We just ended up growing apart. We've grown into adulthood and we've grown in two different directions. Now, we have nothing in common, plus there's a lot of other shit out there (that I will not post for all the internet to read). The feelings were mutual, so it will be a "kind" divorce.

So last night, we're at the house and about 2 bottles of wine into conversation, and she comes out with all this other shit that she never told me while we were together. The biggest thing, she's had romantic feelings for another Marine for almost 2 years. You know how I felt about that? I felt happy. In many ways, I made her life not-so-happy. She is still my best friend and I wish her all the happiness in the world, even if that happiness comes from someone other than me. I was so elated to hear that she might love someone else. Thats how dead my marraige has been.

So she has found an apartment really close to where she works and she'll be renting it from someone she works with. As long as I can support us both financially, everything should be fine. I'll get to stay in my house, because I will stay in DC anyways. Jobs are fantastic for me, but I think she will move closer to her family.

After talking about that, I finally feel free. I worried about her ability to get back on her feet. It makes me so happy to know that she will be ok, probably even happier without me. I feel like I can begin moving on with my life now.

Sorry to keep everyone in the dark about this, but I just wasn't ready to blog about it until I knew where everything was headed. Everything is going to be fine and that makes me happy.
 
Friday night
06.19.04 (3:29 pm)   [edit]
I had yet another night of "making merry" as my mother likes to refer to it as. Today, I am tired as hell. Not hungover, just tired. I took a nap but it didn't help. I can't wait for bedtime tonight. Staying at a buddy's house this weekend. Probably for a couple of weeks. Long story.

I will update later this weekend. I'm using his computer and I feel bad. Talk to ya'll later!
 
Bush-haters
06.18.04 (8:31 am)   [edit]
No, I'm not talking about gay men.

Has anyone noticed how many Bush-hating blogs there are out there? Have you ever read some of them? I find it hard to believe that people with enough spare time to run a blog and enough computer smarts to surf the internet could still be so ignorant. Its hard to argue with them. Its like argueing that grass doesn't grow fluorescent pink. There's nothing to argue, it just doesn't grow fluorescent pink! I'm troubled by the ignorance of America's youth. Some people have no worldly sense at all. Maybe if they traveled outside their yuppy towns ...

Yuck, I don't even want to get into it. I'm a happy guy and just thinking about how ignorantly stupid these people are irritates me. Its just like someone who leaves a beer bottle without finishing it. It just bothers me! LOL I'm kidding about that last part.

These evening I will partake in some more anarchy. Going to my 2nd favorite brewery. The beer is a little heavy, but very full flavored. I have actually never been there other than to eat dinner, so I don't know that the crowd will be like. I think they'll be five of us or so.

Thank you to all my faithful who have put me over the 2000 views mark. In just three weeks. Might be four. I'm getting senile and the days just seem to blur together. And no, its not because I'm drunk.

Quote of the day - "If Steel Knight were sex, I'd be a fucking priest!"

Background on the QOD - Operation Steel Knight is massive, two week, live fire exercise conducted at the Marine Air Ground Task Force Training Command in Twentynine Palms, CA. It takes place every December, when its colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra. It usually consists of drive a few clicks, set up cammie nets, each chow, take down cammie nets. Repeat. For 20 hours a day for 2 weeks. It pretty much sucks balls. The only cool part is when your element gets involved in the assault, which happens for about ten minutes during the entire two weeks. This quote was actually said, I believe in Dec 1998.
 
Banished to hell
06.18.04 (4:03 am)   [edit]
I took the Hell banishment thing. We all know this is fiction though. As the Marines' Hymn tells us

[i]If the Army and the Navy, Ever look on Heaven's Scene
They will find the streets are guarded by United States Marines[/i]

Plus, the devil would be afraid I'd take over the joint. Pussy mofo

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Extreme
Level 3 (Gluttonous)High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very High
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
 
How to make a me
06.17.04 (9:09 am)   [edit]


How to make a saint027
Ingredients:

5 parts friendliness

3 parts ambition

1 part energy
Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Top it off with a sprinkle of wisdom and enjoy!
 
Brain Teaser
06.17.04 (3:55 am)   [edit]
I've decided to post my own brain teaser, since I was stumped by Scuba's the other day. You don't need to PM me on this one. I trust all of you to get it.









=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
Afternoon update
06.16.04 (1:16 pm)   [edit]
OMG, hottie day at the gym. I now know what a heart-shaped ass looks like. She was smoking!! But here I run into a dilemna. Hitting on a woman in the gym is like hitting on your waitress, its just fucking tacky as hell. So i did the, I'm-looking-at-you-out-of -the-corner-of-my-eye-whi le-you're-not-looking-at- me routine. Is that still tacky? Is there truly a way to let a woman know, in the gym, she has a nice body and you appreciate it. I'm not talking about 'hey why don't we go out back and get some horizontal PT'. Just talking about, 'good for you, you look good enough to grab my attention'. So ladies, is there a way to accomplish this or is it better to just let it lie?

Side note: I'm not convinced the heart-shaped ass chick wasn't scuba spying on me. About 5'6", fake blonde hair, and she spent a good hour on the treadmill. I shall investigate this further.

I had a great workout though. I ran 1.5 miles at an 8 minute pace, which is the fastest I've been able to go on my knees in a long time. If I could hold that pace for 3 miles, we wouldn't be talking about a Medical Board. I won't mention the fact that I can't bend my knees now, as I think thats irrelevant. lol

My new CD's arrived in the mail today!! Actually, one is really old. It just occurred to me that I don't own it. I got Rage Against the Machine's self titled album. I also got Keith Urban's Golden Road. I bought it for one song called You'll Think of Me. I'd post the lyrics, but appears I'm the only one that listens to ANY country around here. If you listen hard enough, I'm sure you can hear me howling at the top of my lungs.

In other music news, I can no longer listen to anything with Lil' John in it without laughing. You need to see the Chapelle's show episode where he makes fun of Lil' John first to understand. WHAT?!?! WHAT?!?! OK!!! WHAT?!?!? YEAH!!!! I guess you also need to know who Lil' John is too. I leave that to my faithful, as I'm sure someone knows better than I do.

And lastly, I am apparently the village idiot because Scuba's word puzzle stumped the fuck out of me. I couldn't get it. I still have no idea what the hell a trusteeship is though. Sounds like a word I would make up. (I make up words all the time). Stand by ... I have a riddle of my own coming soon.
 
Fake breasts story
06.16.04 (10:14 am)   [edit]
So there I am, in my buddy's living room. Its me, my buddy C, another buddy of mine J and c's fiance. Now, C's fiance is a full-fledged hottie. But in my world, you don't mess around with your buddy's toys. Well, we somehow got talking about fake boobs and C chimes up that his girl has them. She proceeds to display them (in an incredibly sexy bra I might add). She then offers to let us touch. C is like, sure go ahead. Well, J not only touches, but squeezes, massages and tugs on her nips a bit. After that, I just couldn't do it. Something seemed wrong about playing with my buddy's fiance's boobs. So there it was, I missed my chance to touch fake boobs. And since I don't frequent strip clubs (whaddya mean I can't touch?!?!), I have still never touched fake breasts.
 
Thanks Krazed
06.16.04 (4:05 am)   [edit]
I had a pic to post in your honor, but fucking photobucket isn't working. They should hire me. I'd fix it real quick. lol

** Update **

Now that photobucket wants to work.

Krazed, thank you for helping me get the camel off my gun tube. lol

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
PBBBBBLLLTT!!
06.15.04 (1:18 pm)   [edit]
Thats about how I feel. :P

I had the second part of my physical. This time I actually go in and see the doctor. I got to see my usual doctor, who was a Navy Corpsman with a Marine unit before he got commissioned. He told me that it looks like they will be throwing me out of the Corps soon. I wish they would hurry up and do it already. This waiting around shit sucks ass. I'm sick of my job, its so far beneath my skills. All the cool (read: competant) dudes left to get better jobs. They all have positions open right now. If I could get out now, I would be set for a job. But you watch, by the time I get out, all those jobs will have dried up. Its just my luck.

Speaking of bad luck, I have discussed my curse. I have this curse, see. I hit every traffic light red. Every .. single .. one .. every .. single .. time. I'm not joking. There are 18 traffic lights between me and the highway. On a typical morning, I will hit about 15 red. No shit. And I don't even have to be driving. If I'm in the car, it'll happen. It sucks. Because I learned to drive in Boston (I'm a masshole) I am a fairly impatient driver. I hate lights ...

To make me feel better, I will relate a drunk story. So there we were. We had just finished a funeral and the family takes us out after for drinks to celebrate his life. They take us to the bar that he owned. The place is FULL of former Marines. The drinks were on the house. We got well lubricated.

So we're getting ready to leave and we can't find one of our Marines. Where is he? We check the head (bathroom), he's not there. We check around the bar, he's not there. We finally find him in the van, passed out, his blues half off and he has hurled ALL OVER the van. It was nasty. At the same time, it was really funny. He was so fucked up, he didn't wake up as we stripped him, washed him and dressed him again (clean clothes,don't worry). The family thought it was hilarious.

So then, on the way back to the base, we pass this car full of chicks. They're messing with us bad, pretending to kiss each other and stuff. They wanted to see us in our blues. We go back and forth for about 50 miles. They even flash us, all 4 of them. The whole time I'm thinking, just don't pull over. We may be sexy driving down the highway, but if they get one wiff of the van, they're outta there! And of course, ol' boy is passed out on the floor too. What a classic moment. Ah, the good old days.

I think I need a scotch tonight...
 
Funeral Details
06.15.04 (8:50 am)   [edit]
I have a good story inspired by a conversation I was having on tblurt.

For one month, I was put on funeral detail in 29 Palms, CA. We buried former Marines in Riverside National Cemetary. We did about 10 or so funerals during that time. I was on the Rifle Detail. We would fire the 21 gun salute with an M16A2 Service Rifle. Anyways ...

One day, we did our detail for the day and were packing up to go to the bar. We were invited to celebrate the life a fallen Marine with his family. Just as we're about to leave, this woman comes up to us in tears. Her husband was a soldier that fought in Korea. He recently died and was scheduled for a burial with full military honors that day. It was supposed to start at 1300 and it was now 1345. The Army honor guard still had not shown up. She asked us if we would stand in. We were honored that she would ask us to help bury her husband. We had fired off all our rounds and only carried a couple extras. We scrounged the cemetary for other details and managed to find about 10 rounds, not enough for a full salute. The widow didn't care. We went through the motions and I had the honor of being the only one to fire on that third volley. My lone shot. The family was so grateful that she wrote a letter to her Senator praising our efforts and mentioned us all by name. It was very powerful to be a part of that. That month that I served on funeral detail made me feel honored to be a part of our nation's Armed Forces.

I have more stories about that month, but most of them involve us getting drunk after the funerals. Ask and I shall blog.
 
I just can't win
06.15.04 (8:18 am)   [edit]
This is how i felt about women lately. Hell, this is how I feel just about all the time.


A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday.

"I'd love to be six again, " she replied.

On the morning of her birthday,
he arose early, got up made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms and then took her off to the local theme park.

What a day! He put her on every ride in the park:
The Death Slide, The Wall of Fear, The Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park.
Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.
Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie to see the latest blockbuster, a hot-dog, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband & collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked,

"Well, Dear, what was it like being six again?"

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

"You idiot, I meant my dress size!"

The moral of the story:
Even when a man is listening, he's gonna get it wrong!
 
Sympathy
06.15.04 (7:46 am)   [edit]
This is my business card for the day. I hate coming to the Pentagon. LONG ASS WALK!! And of course ... wait for it ... our networks fucked up like a football bat again. Fucking figures. Tblog here I come!

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
Ralph Wiley dead at age 52
06.15.04 (3:44 am)   [edit]
Holy shit dude! Ralph Wiley, one of the best sports writers at ESPN died this weekend of heart failure. He was only 52. I loved reading his stuff. For those sports buffs out there, this is a tragedy.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=18 21759" title="http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=18 21759" target="_blank"http://sports.espn.go.com/esp...
 
Patriots Super Bowl Rings
06.15.04 (3:42 am)   [edit]
My World Champion New England Patriots were awarded their Super Bowl XXXVIII rings. Here is a link to the picture. I think they're worth more than I make in a year. Must be nice.

http://picsrv.patriots.com/fif=/patriots/28951.fpx&obj=iip" title="http://picsrv.patriots.com/fif=/patriots/28951.fpx&obj=iip" target="_blank"http://picsrv.patriots.com/fi...,1.0&wid=590&hei=459&rgn=0.0,0.0,1.00000000,1.00000000&lng=en&cvt=jpeg

I've got to get through another day with the WWW, and I don't mean world wide web. Wish me luck.

I forgot my running shoes this morning, so I guess I get out of going to the gym today. I'll try and go running when I get home, but it'll probably be raining like it is every f-bomb day in this f-bomb town.

I'm hungry. I just ate breakfast and lunch isn't for another 4 hours. Dammit! I'm done bitching for now.
 
Ya'll should be proud
06.14.04 (1:25 pm)   [edit]
I actually managed to break away from tblog long enough to put your tax dollars to work AND go to the gym in the same day. Of course, here I am sitting here again.

I managed to survive my first day with the wicked witch of the west. Thats all Iwant to say about that.

I had a good conversation with my Dad today. I don't talk to him very often. We have a strange relationship. Its barely a relationship, but its a hell of a lot more than he and my brother have. Its a long story ...

Anyways, we discussed my current predicament. I have not discussed my predicament on tblog, nor do I think I will. I will answer any questions via PM, if you so choose. Its deep though. But again, I digress ...

He gave me some good advice. That has .. wait .. no... never happened in our relationship. My mom's a loony and my dad's ... well ... aloof is the best way to describe him. They've been divorced since I was 2. I have very few memories of them together. But this is getting into a WHOLE nother story. So I have no solutions, but thoughts. Still don't know what to do. Therefore, I will do nothing. There's the manly thing to do.

I know this post makes no sense to any of you. Well, f-bomb you! Its my blog! JK
 
Work sucks
06.14.04 (9:09 am)   [edit]
Anyone heard that Blink 182 song? Works sucks ... I know. Thats me today.

I have to work with a woman today that they call the wicked witch of the west. I'm pretty sure she could outbitch the witch. They put me with her because of my "command presence". That could be described as all the managers around here get scared when I walk in the room. I don't know why *innocent looking face*.

My networks all jacked up anyways today. I'm trying to just F-bomb off on tblog until they decide to fix it. That'll be sometime next year, before they fix it I mean.

I dropped over $100 on CD's this weekend. I miss the download era :( I got some good shit though. I don't know how many rednecks read my page, but the new song that Brad Paisley does with Alison Krause is haunting me. Its called Whisky Lullabye. Here are the lyrics ...

She put him out like the burning end of a midnight cigarette.
She broke his heart: He spent his whole life trying to forget.
We watched him drink his pain away, a little at a time,
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind,

Until the night:
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger.
And finally drank away her memory.
Life is short, but this time it was bigger,
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees.
We found him with his face down in the pillow,
With a note that said: "I'll love her till I die."
And when we buried him beneath the willow,
The angels sang a whiskey lullabye.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la.

The rumours flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself.
For years and years, she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath.
She finally drank her pain away, a little at a time,
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind.

Until the night:
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger.
And finally drank away his memory.
Life is short, but this time it was bigger,
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees.
We found her with her face down in the pillow,
Clinging to his picture for dear life.
We laid her next to him beneath the willow,
While the angels sang a whiskey lullabye.
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.
La la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la.

La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la.

La la la la la la la,
La la la la la la la.


The first part is sang by Brad Paisley and the second part by Alison Krause. And yes Coldtones, I listen to country music too. I listen to rap and dance stuff too, I just don't know the names of any of that stuff.

OK, back to work. This sucks donkey balls.
 
Weekend update
06.14.04 (3:43 am)   [edit]
So I made it through the weekend. I think the four hour nap I took Sat afternoon helped out immensely. You gotta understand, I'm not one for napping. I usually wake up with a headache and that cobwebby feeling when I nap. Sunday, I managed to eat through most of the laundry. I'll admit ... last thursday ... I had to pick through the dirty laundry and find the least smelly green T-shirt. I know, I know. I wasn't proud. But all thats behind me now. The lawn is mowed, finals are over, laundry is clean (folded & put away too!) and my house is a LOT cleaner than it was. I need to wash the dogs though. They smell like ... dog. Who didn't see that coming? lol

So Sat night, I had this strange ass dream. I officially spend too much time here on tblog, because I had a dream about Scarlettgkpi. Don't worry Shark, it wasn't that kind of dream :P She had been captured in Iraq and I was sent in with a team of Marines to rescue her (among others, and at this point I didn't know who she was). Most of my team got pinned down outside this building where the Americans were being held captive. So, while my Marines engaged the enemy, I slipped in by climbing up a wall, onto a building beside the target building, then jumped across onto the roof and swung myself into a window. Pretty James Bond, huh? Yeah, I'm scared of heights, I really don't see that happening. But I digress ....

So, I'm in the building. I work my way through the building and locate the prisoners. I get everybody out of their cells, but again we get pinned down, this time inside the building. I tell the rest of the prisoners to go meet with my Marines outside while I draw their fire. One of the prisoners tells me she's coming with me. It wasn't a question. Side note: At this point I notice, hey isn't that the chick from tblog? I blog way too much. Anyways, we go through the entire underground of the city, very reminiscent of WWII France and the French underground. I think the strangest part was the dream ended when I was running from all these Iraqi's AND a couple of russian thugs when all of the sudden .... dun dun duuuuuuhhhhh ... I'm getting a haircut from a really gay russian dude. He was helping me hide, I think. But I remember thinking, he better fade the line between my sides and my top or I'll be pissed.

Hi, my name is Saint and I am a tblog addict.
 
Pain
06.11.04 (10:34 am)   [edit]
Seldom do I post anything serious. Maybe I'm just tired. I've been listening to a lot of Evanescence lately. Her voice haunts me. It reminds me of things that I would rather not feel. Sometimes I don't understand what I'm feeling. Even if I did understand, I certainly don't know how to react to them. I've been told by people that I travel through life numb, feeling nothing. Its comforting to feel numb, to feel nothing. I don't want to feel it unless I know how to react to it.

Listening to My Immortal reminds me of all I'd rather forget. Is it better to be numb or to cause a world of pain for the prospect of future happiness? I don't know what I'm feeling, but its becoming harder and harder to ignore it. No magic reset button. Nothing to make it all go away. When I can't hold it in any longer, its gonna be ugly.

"My Immortal"

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

[i]But she doesn't have all of me ...[/i]
 
The Lieutenants' Creed
06.11.04 (10:01 am)   [edit]
This is my Sergeant.

There are many like him, but this one is mine.

My Sergeant is my best friend. He is my life. I must obey him as I obey my wife.

Without my Sergeant, I am useless. My Sergeant without me is lucky.

My Sergeant must shoot straighter than my Lance Corporals who are trying to kill me. He must shoot them before they shoot me.

My Sergeant knows that what counts in war is not the orders I give, the noise from my suck, nor the smoke that comes out of my ass. He knows it is the enlisted ranks that count.

My Sergeant is superhuman, even as I am not. Thus, I will follow him. I will learn my weaknesses, my strengths ... if any.

I will guard him against the ravages of Captains and higher. I will keep my Sergeant informed and in charge, even though I am neither.

I will forever emulate him. I will ...

Before God I swear this creed. My Sergeant is the defender of my country. He is the master of my enemy. He is the savior of my life. I think I love him ...
 
for Krazed
06.11.04 (4:57 am)   [edit]
This pills for you ...

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
I made it
06.11.04 (4:36 am)   [edit]
I survived. So did the rest of the city. I feel like hell this morning. I think there's a little man inside my head trying to get out. Could somebody let him out please? lol

Its not that bad. I had to come into work just to pick up all my crap from yesterday though. Long story. I left my shit in another dude's car and he was too drunk to drive later when we started barhopping so he left his car and I never got my shit out. Yeah, that made sense.

Scuba will be upset. I did not get a picture of my ass for her. Sorry, didn't happen. Someone did take a picture of something on a camera phone but I'm not sure if that will ever trickle its way down to me. If it does, I probably won't post it cuz I'm pretty sure I was doing something dumb at the time.

I need to do my finals today. Thats all I have to say about that.

Someone's making a coffee run. Sweet. I had breakfast and a couple glasses of juice already, but I don't think anything's going to help the 3 hours sleep thing.
 
My favorite line from a chick flick
06.10.04 (9:45 am)   [edit]
Its gotta be [i]Something to talk about[/i]. There's this part where Julia Roberts is sitting in the same bed with Kyra Sedgwick (who looked hot as hell in that scene where she knees him in the balls). They're talking about Julia Roberts and this guy she likes. The sister says

[i]Ask him what he likes to eat. If he says pussy, tell him to come on over.[/i]

I thought that was funny as hell.

So here's my question. (I'm trying to be a little EO after my mammogram post) Guys, what is your favorite line from a chick flick? Ladies, what is your favorite line from a guy flick?

Can't wait to see the results.
 
Spears injures knee
06.10.04 (9:17 am)   [edit]
I found this at CNN.com

NEW YORK (AP) -- Pop princess Britney Spears injured her knee during a video shoot and was hospitalized for arthroscopic surgery, her record label said Wednesday.

Spears, 22, was taken to a hospital after hurting herself late Tuesday, Jive Records said in a statement. An MRI showed floating cartilage in her knee.

The injury occurred after Spears completed outdoor scenes for the video of her new single, "Outrageous," with rapper Snoop Dogg in the New York City borough of Queens.

Spears was doing choreography when her knee gave out, Jive said.

"Outrageous" will be featured in the movie "Catwoman," due out next month.

Spears is scheduled to begin a North American tour June 22 in Hartford, Connecticut, according to her Web site.

Her latest album, "In the Zone," was released in November.

Spears was forced to cancel two shows in March because of a knee injury.


$20 says she comes out with bigger breasts. Any takers? LOL
 
Watch out!!
06.10.04 (4:58 am)   [edit]
Mothers lock your daughters up ... the boys are heading out on the town tonight! Thanks to the late President Reagan, I do not have to work tomorrow. As a result, I'm organizing some deviant behavior for this evening. I'm leaving the location up to a couple buddies of mine. The only problem is they're both brothers and go to places where pasty white guys can't safely go. I warned them not to get me shot. There are a couple other whities going to. DC is a pretty reverse racial city. Its sort of funny. I don't mind though. They tell me there isn't much that goes on Thursdays though. We just might end up at my fav brewery anyways. Not too many women to be had, but the beer is great and the food is spectacular. Ha ha, makes me wanna post the "20 reasons a beer is better than a woman" thing. I might have to look for it.

So a word of warning, if you're going out in DC tonight, watch out!! Ha ha ha.
 
Blame this on Shark
06.09.04 (2:30 pm)   [edit]
It wasn't my fault. They were talking about it on tblurt and I didn't want to feel left out and ... Oh fuck it. I took the damn quiz for my own amusement!! Happy!

CWINDOWSDesktopPirates.JPG
Pirates of the Caribbean!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla
 
New Look
06.09.04 (2:13 pm)   [edit]
I have a new look to my blog. All thanks should be given to xObRoKeNoX, as everyone knows I have no artistic imagination. She patiently waited while I fumbled around like a monkey trying to fuck a football. Anyways, its looks great. Thanks, Broken. I'd smooch you, but you're underage and I'd get arrested. lol
 
I hate when this happens ...
06.09.04 (10:03 am)   [edit]
=http://img78.photobucket.com/...

I wanted to bash some more liberals, but I found my donkey picture and decided to post it instead. Don't worry, I'll find some more hippie bashing stuff later.

I've crossed the 1000 views mark. Hooray for me!!
 
Porno Clips
06.09.04 (4:00 am)   [edit]
Ha ha. Lets see how many people's attention I can get with that subject line. I always wanted to have office sex. I [i]did[/i] get to have sex in a tank once. But thats a story for another day ...

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...

 
Political Joke
06.09.04 (3:56 am)   [edit]
[b]In honor of President Reagan's passing, I feel this joke appropriate.[/b]



You may know they've released John Hinckley from the mental factility for unsupervised visits to his parents home on weekends. For those of you who may be too young to remember John Hinckley shot President Ronald Reagan to impress the actress Jodie Foster. This is such a nice letter from the President:




THE WHITE HOUSE


WASHINGTON D.C.



Mr. John Hinckley St. Elizabeth's Hospital Washington, DC


Dear John:

Laura and I hope that you are continuing your excellent progress in recovery from your mental problems. We were pleased to hear that you are now able to have unsupervised visits with your parents. The staff at the hospital reports that you are doing fine.

I have decided to seek a second term in office as your president and I would appreciate your support and the support of your fine parents

I would hope that if there is anything that you need at the hospital, you would let us know.

By the way, are you aware that John Kerry is screwing Jody Foster?





Sincerely,





George W. Bush President
 
Work Sucks
06.08.04 (12:02 pm)   [edit]
There are the kind of people I work with. I hear its the #1 work related injury.

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...

I dealt with people like this ALL FRIGGIN DAY!!
 
In honor of ...
06.08.04 (8:57 am)   [edit]
Shespecies I am posting this quiz. I don't know her at all, but everyone else around here seems to know her and I feel left out. LOL I don't think I want to know some of the answers from some of my more colorful fans :)

1. Who are you?
2. Have we ever met?
3. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
4. Describe me in one word.
5. What reminds you of me?
6. If you could give me anything, what would it be?
7. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
8. Are you going to put this on your weblog and see what I say about you?
9. What do you love like a fat kid loves cake?
10. What makes you come back here?

I apologize for the quiz thing. I feel like a woman for posting it (no offense to the lady-folk).
 
More silly military stuff
06.08.04 (7:43 am)   [edit]
This is for all my brothers and sisters in arms. Do you know what you're service stands for?

[u][b]Army[/b][/u]
A - Ain't
R - Ready for
M - Marines
Y - Yet

[u][b]Navy[/b][/u]
N - Never
A - Again
V - Volunteer
Y - Yourself

[u][b]Marine[/b][/u]
M - My
A - Ass
R - Rides
I - In
N - Navy
E - Equipment

I don't have one for the Air Farce, I mean Chair Force. If anyone has one, let me know and I'll post it.
 
Name hoo-ha
06.07.04 (10:02 am)   [edit]
Since Ironwolf borrowed something off my site, I'm borrowing something off his. Thanks man.

SSimple
AAppreciative
IIndustrious
NNeat
TTrustworthy
2
7

Name / Username:


Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com
 
Bouncing boobies on bikes
06.07.04 (9:41 am)   [edit]
Yes, thats what I said. This is in response to someone previously discussing the prospect of naked bikeriding. I do indeed have a picture.

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...

 
A Marine's Christmas
06.07.04 (8:44 am)   [edit]
'Twas the night before Christmas, he lived all alone
in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.
I had come down the chimney with presents to give
And to see just who in this home did live.

I looked all about. A strange sight I did see
No Tinsel. No presents. Not even a tree.
No stocking by the chimney, just boots filled with sand.
On the wall hung pictures of a far distant land.

With medals and badges, awards of all kinds,
A sober thought soon came to my mind.
For this house was different, unlike any I'd seen.
This was the home of a U.S. Marine.

I'd heard stories about them, I had to see more,
so I walked down the hall and pushed open the door.
And there he lay sleeping, silent, alone,
Curled up on the floor in his one-bedroom home.

He seemed so gentle, his face so serene,
Not how I pictured a U.S. Marine.
Was this the hero, of whom I’d just read?
Curled up in his poncho, a floor for his bed?

His head was clean-shaven, his weathered face tan.
I soon understood, this was more than a man.
For I realized the families that I saw that night,
owed their lives to these men, who were willing to fight.

Soon around the Nation, the children would play,
And grown-ups would celebrate on a bright Christmas day.
They all enjoyed freedom, each month and all year,
because of Marines like this one lying here.

I couldn’t help wonder how many lay alone,
on a cold Christmas Eve, in a land far from home.
Just the very thought brought a tear to my eye.
I dropped to my knees and I started to cry.

He must have awoken, for I heard a rough voice,
"Santa, don't cry, this life is my choice
I fight for freedom, I don't ask for more.
My life is my God, my country, my Corps."

With that he rolled over, drifted off into sleep,
I couldn't control it, I continued to weep.

I watched him for hours, so silent and still.
I noticed he shivered from the cold night's chill.
So I took off my jacket, the one made of red,
and covered this Marine from his toes to his head.
Then I put on his T-shirt of scarlet and gold,
with an eagle, globe and anchor emblazoned so bold.
And although it barely fit me, I began to swell with pride,
and for one shining moment, I was Marine Corps deep inside.

I didn't want to leave him so quiet in the night,
this guardian of honor so willing to fight.
But half asleep he rolled over, and in a voice clean and pure,
said "Carry on, Santa, it's Christmas Day, all secure."
One look at my watch and I knew he was right,
Merry Christmas my friend, Semper Fi and goodnight.

~By James M. Schmidt~
 
More oorah oorah stuff
06.07.04 (8:39 am)   [edit]
I'm feeling a little motivated today, so I will post some of my Marine shit. Some of it is funny. Some not.

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...

We stole the eagle from the Air Farce, I mean Chair Force, I mean Air Force

We stole the anchor from the Navy

We stole the rope from the Army

On the Seventh Day, while God rested, we overran his perimeter, stole the globe and have been protecting our shores ever since.

Fighter by day, lover by night, drunkard by choice and United States Marine by act of God.

[b]UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS[/b]
 
More funny Monday stuff
06.07.04 (5:00 am)   [edit]
This is how we do business.

[b]USMC Rules for Gunfighting [/b]
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you
meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start
with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life
is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral &
diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or
tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating or reloading.
14. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have
to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
15. And above all ... don't drop your guard.

[b]Navy SEALS Rules For Gunfighting [/b]1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Return quickly to looking cool in latest beach wear.
4. Check hair in mirror.

[b]US Army Rangers Rules For Gunfighting [/b]
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound ruck while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound ruck while starving.

[b]Army Rules For Gunfighting [/b]
1. Select a new beret to wear
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear

[b]US Air Force Rules For Gunfighting [/b]
1. Have a cocktail
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner
3. See what's on HBO
4. Determine "what is a gunfight"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint
presentation
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DoD & defense industry executives
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally
9. Tell the Navy to send the Marines

[b]Navy Rules For Gunfighting [/b]
1. Go to Sea
2. Drink Coffee
3. Watch porn
4. Send the Marines
 
Liquid Panty Remover
06.07.04 (4:55 am)   [edit]
In honor of coldtones, I post this pic.

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...

And in honor of Ronald Reagan, a little liberal bashing to start your Monday.

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
I get Friday off
06.07.04 (4:18 am)   [edit]
Sweet. Our fearless Commander-in-Chief has decreed that the federal government will be closed on Friday to mourn the loss of former POTUS Ronald Reagan. I just might venture up to the Capital Building to see him before they ship his body back to CA. It depends on how well my finals go this week. In another nazi-communist plot, my finals all need to be completed by Friday instead of Sunday like they would on a normal week. BTW, I take online classes that run Mon-Sun and I can do the work anytime during the week. Yeah, its pretty sweet. And Yes, all my exams are open book. Yes, its pretty sweet. Ha ha.

It appears that all the sudden people are reading my blog. I checked last week and I was not listed on hot blogs. Not a surprise since I really don't go out of my way begging people to come look. As of this morning, I'm at 61. Right.

Shark99 posted a great piece about how tblog has turned into a community of friends. I must agree. I'm still the new kid in town, but it seems that I talk to same people most of the time. I've started to get to know people and find myself perusing their blogs more often. Some people make you laugh, some make you cry (not me, of course) and some people talk about the latest news and politics. And then there are those that picture me nekkid all the time, not sure whats up with that:) Whatever the message, its nice to have people who can carry on an intelligent conversation. I think J warned me about becoming addicted. Thanks for the warning, girl, but its too late now.

So wish me a happy Friday off and pray for the a$$holes that canceled my class. Pray that I don't kill them today. And pray that if I do kill them, thats its quick and painless. Check that. Nah, let'em suffer.
 
Better
06.06.04 (12:21 pm)   [edit]
Now that I'm better, I feel like bashing a few hippie liberalists. Nothing like the smell of politics in the morning to wake you up. This picture is dedicated to all the liberals without the intestinal fortitude (read: ballz) to take the war to the terrorists instead of using the ol' as-long-as-it-doesn't-aff ect-my-constituency liberal approach. Without further delay ...

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...

But as I've said earlier, I may not like what you say but I'll defend to the death your right to say it. Ha ha ha. To be honest, I would have rather seen McCain in office instead of Bush. In honor of all those democrats I have just offended, this one's for you.

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...

Hope that makes you feel better. Ya'll have a wonderful day!!!
 
Sunday Morning
06.06.04 (8:45 am)   [edit]
I've had my coffee. Life can begin now.

Here I am, avoiding my homework, for the second day in a row. I've done two out of three classes now. Just my C++ programming left now. Its an easy one, but I just have no motivation. I'm still pissed about this stupid canceled class I was supposed to start on Monday. I'm saving up all my anger to let them have it on Mon. So if you read about me in the papers, you know why.

Here's why it pisses me off so much. I left a combat unit in 29 Palms when I re-enlisted in 2001. I loved those guys. They weren't the brightest people on earth, but they were simple people who were happy with simple things, much like me. I left that to join another military occupational specialty (MOS) that was computer based. Obviously, I'm dealing with a smarter breed of bear now. Smart people bitch alot. Anyone ever noticed that? Noone's ever fucking happy and all they do is bitch and stab each other in the back. I knew things would be like this. Marines aren't as tight here as they are in a combat unit. When you train to go to war together, you NEED to be able to rely on each other. When you work on computers, you don't need that type of cohesion. But I digress ...

So I left with the goal in mind that I would get orders somewhere that I could finish my degree. Before, I was spending 9 months a year deployed or in the field, leaving little time for anything else. Back to the point, all I need are these CCNP classes to complete my degree. My college accepts them as transfer credits and will also give me a minor in Internetworking (my major is Computer Networking in case you care). Now, I have precious little time left in the Marine Corps. If I don't meet this goal, I will have left my old unit, and let them go to war without me, for nothing.

It killed me to read about my unit fighting over there while I sat here in a cushy little job, working 7-3. I should have been there. I wish I had been there. I want to believe that I left them for something. Without doing what I came here to do, I will have left for nothing. Thats the reason these assholes are irking me so badly. Hopefully, I can get everything worked out tomorrow and still accomplish what I set out to do in time. Hopefully after tomorrow, I'll feel better. Everything irritates me right now. Including my homework. lol

Ah well, enough complaining. Back to work.

PS Yankees suck!!
 
Warning
06.04.04 (10:16 am)   [edit]
Since I'm feeling a little railroaded right now, I thought this picture appropriate.

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
Bitchin
06.04.04 (9:02 am)   [edit]
Those cock suckin mother fuckers call me at 1pm on Friday to tell me my fucking class that I took all next week off for, and I already paid them $5000 for, is fucking canceled. All because some people dropped out. They sent me a fucking confirmation email and had the nuts to call me 7 times this week to "make sure" I was still going. And they wait until 1pm on fucking friday. Go eat a dick you assmunching motherfuckers. WTF?!?!?! Lucky I'm at work or I'd fucking break something. For those who don't know, my bachelors is not finished until I transfer the credits I'd get for these certifications. And now they want to postpone the next (2 of 4) for another two fucking months. How fucking long to I have to fucking wait?? Huh? I've been waiting over a fucking year already. The last place I tried to take it at went out of fucking business. I showed up for the class and the place was fucking empty. MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Fuck off and die! Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fucker.
 
Personality Thingy
06.04.04 (8:26 am)   [edit]
I did this hoo-ha. I'll post it just for shits and grins.

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates aeight
your best quality isdeep inside ur a good person
your worst quality isWell, nothing I can think of
this is becauseyoure true to yourself
Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen!
 
Better picture
06.04.04 (8:20 am)   [edit]
OK. So I'm not a dog. Actually, thats Lelu. And no, I didn't let her drink the beer. I will now post a better pic. I'm the one in the camouflage.

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...
 
Iraqi Wedding party
06.04.04 (6:24 am)   [edit]
This is through the Marine Corps good ol' boy network.

This is from one of many "sources" that is in a position to see more than the average citizen gets from the national news or other media.

Just reviewed a brief on the supposed wedding - no way it was. Here are some unclass details I can provide (brief had lots of pictures to back up the details):

Weddings traditionally held on Thursdays in Iraq to take advantage of Friday as a day of rest - raid took place on Tuesday night. - Only permanant dwelling at the site held large stocks of food, bedding, medical supplies (lots of these - was the wedding going to be a cage match of some sort or were the caterers just bad cooks?), ammunition and weapons, as well as an apparent document forging set up. Meat was still frozen solid - not prepared for a wedding feast and there were no stocks of dishes, plates, etc. - Contrary to media reports, no "Nuptial Tent" was found and a 1KM area around the site was searched - any further away than that would be just too far for the catering staff to walk carrying all those huge platters of food - against union rules. -

No evidence of any means of support for the house (like sheep farming which is most common in that area). All evidence pointed to a smuggler way station - fit perfectly the description of several other found in the past. - "Wedding guests" (deceased of course) were almost all men of military age, only a couple of women, no elders at all and only one child (wounded) noted. All dressed as city dwellers, not Bedouins who would hold a wedding at such a location. All of the deceased were sterilized, as in none had any form of ID on them at all.

Only ID's found were in a nice neat stack inside the house - and then quite a few less of those than there were people at the site. - Weapons were varied and included RPG's (they really suck when you fire them up in the air for celebration), there were also military binoculars (when they separate the men and women they have to look at each other with bino's I guess), and IED making material (party favors?). - Lots of clothing prepackaged in pants and shirt sets (guerranimals for guerrilla's). - There were also no gifts, no decorations, no food set out or left over, and the good bit of money recovered was all in the pockets of the "guests" (maybe they were just cheap guests).

I strongly suspect that after their Foriegn Fighter way station got whacked, they tried to set it up to look like what happened in Afghanistan when a wedding was actually hit due to celebratory firing being taken for ground fire by orbiting aircraft. I also would not put it past the scum bags to sweep a local village for approriately aged "guests" to kill and display for the TV cameras.

Our BDA assessment was made by people on the site just after the schwacking and they took their time to count and exploit the site. This is just speculation on my part.

Bottom line assessment: Good hit - no wedding. These were foreign fighters that had just crossed into Iraq and got an early trip to paradise and the martyrdom hall of fame.

Thought it was important to get this word out as much as possible as you won't see any of this on CNN.
 
Picture
06.04.04 (4:49 am)   [edit]
By popular demand, I have decided to post a pic. OK, so it was only two people. And they probably don't care that much. But here it is, a picture of me enjoying a beer.

=http://img78.photobucket.com/...

Did I fail to mention I'm a dog? LOL
 
Broken stuff
06.03.04 (8:08 am)   [edit]
So I'm back from lunch. It was actually very good. Meatloaf kicks ass. Especially when smothered with mashed potatoes and gravy. Yum. Of course now I'm going to be sleepy as hell this afternoon. Oh well.

The funny part was after we came back. This dude I'm up here with walks away from this network printer and the damn thing falls over ... hard. Yup. That ain't gonna work the same! $8000 printer down the drain. That thing is f*cked up like football bat.

Its suprising how much work I can get done while sitting here typing away. I've been yapping with a self-proclaimed tblurt slut. You know who you are. Ha ha ha. That made me laugh when she said that. OK. Back to work. Really. Here I go. No, really. Right.

And I'm still sitting here.

Random thought: It seems a lot of people are thinking about me naked lately. Not sure whats up with that. I hope I look good :-) he he
 
My favorite time of day
06.03.04 (6:46 am)   [edit]
Its almost my favorite time of day ... lunch time!! Any woman who thinks the way to a man's heart is down under, is sorely mistaken. Keep me fed and I'm a happy man. Look at it this way, a man can survive without sex for about 2 days or so. Its painful, but we can do it. A man cannot survive without food for more than a few hours though. Which is more important? Ok, maybe thats just me.

I'm at a crappy installation in PA today though. Their chow hall sucks. The food usually isn't very good, but at least I can eat for about 3 bucks. Sort of evens things out. What I really want is a beer though. Mmmmm ... beer.

I've already planned my mid-life crisis. I'm going to become a brewer and open up my own restaurant. I already operate a bar and grill out of my house. Never get any tips though. Maybe if I cooked in a cammie apron as Kendy suggested. Oil spatters might get painful though. Its a thought. A [i]naked[/i] bar and grill. Everyone has to be in the buff to eat at my place. And of course, I'll brew my own beer. Which I'll need to sample several times a day. I could be on to something here ...
 
Pets
06.02.04 (9:53 am)   [edit]
I realized (as I sit here avoiding work) that I never talked much about my animals. I have 2 cats and 2 dogs. They are my kids. They are the only kids I want (sorry, different blog). Anyways.

My first animal I got from the shelter. She's a sort-of-tubby kitty named Nala. She's my baby. Since I moved from the desert, she's been happier. Bigger house maybe. Now, she climbs my leg, wants to sit on my chest and purr all the time. If I ever figure out how to post pics, I'll post one of her. She's my baby.

Next, I needed some canine influence, so back to the shelter I go. Couldn't find one I liked. As I was leaving, a woman was bringing in this adorable little puppy. I knew that was my dog. She turned out to be 75 pounds and ball obsessed, but she's my dog anyways. She thinks she's a lap dog, but she's not. I named her Lelu after the character Leeloo from the Fifth Element. She didn't come to Leeloo, but liked Lelu.

Next, I inherited a 6 month old purebred mutt from a buddy of mine. He was living off base (even though he wasn't allowed to) and got in trouble. The long and short, I agreed to 'watch' the dog while he was on restriction. 5 years later, she's a happy part of my house. Unfortunately, he named her Hagen after Copenhagen, the chewing tobacco. She's a cutie though.

Next I got Pumba, the gay cat. I went to the store and came home with beer, charcoal and a cat. Don't ask. Anyways, with all the estrogen in the house, he's turned out a little fruity I think. Lately, he's gotten into this habit of squawking at everything. Its not meowing, its squawking.

So thats my animal kingdom. I need a large bed just to fit them all on it. Or I should say, to fit me on it once they all go to bed. They are all about 5-6 years old now. Its kind of sad. Lelu's getting gray on her muzzle and Hagen's been gray for a while. Hagen's just a nervous wreck though, I didn't worry too much. I suppose I've gotten a little lazier in my old age too. When I take them running (dogs, cats don't run well) I end up running by myself with 26 feet of extend-a-leash dragging the dogs behind me. They're funny and great to have around. I never feel too lonely, because one is always feeling a little frisky even if the others aren't. I've got tons of stupid dog/cat stories that perhaps I'll post some time.

Back to surfing the internet. Day's almost over now!
 
Update
06.02.04 (8:03 am)   [edit]
OK, so its been a week since I last posted. Christ on a stick, I've been busy. Between normal classes, CCNP classes, a boss that saves all the "best" work for me (read: shit no one else can figure out) and writing papers, I'm pretty wore out. Side note, if anyone needs some bed time reading material, I've got 10 pages on dense wavelength division multiplexing that is sure to ail all your sleeping woes.

So lets see whats changed in the world during the last week. Iraq, new president, people still getting blown up, Same shit, different day. Israelis blowing up Palestinians and vice versa, SSDD. Cost to fill my gas tank, 10 cents per gallon more expensive. And the democratic party blaming all of this on Bush, SSDD.

I was sad to see that AnonymousX has left tblog. She told me I was cute. I like that. I like most women that tell me I'm cute. Go figure.

Speaking of cute, I finally made it back to the gym yesterday. I was shocked I remembered how to get there, its been so long. My outstanding performance on my PFT (physical fitness test) on Friday has inspired me to return to my healthy ways. I drank tea last night instead of beer. Of course I huffed down a plateful of fresh pasta last night (I made it from scratch, basil pasta with the basil right out of my garden). I wonder why I can't lose the gut. Oh well.

So the cicadas are finally dying. Good riddance.

So my section is having a BBQ on friday. What do they want to cook? Chicken and sausage, the two most bacteria prone meats. Are they trying to kill us?? Perhaps, I should work the grill. I'm pretty sure I'm the only certified pit-master around. I hate when I have to do everything.

On a personal note, they submitted my medical board paperwork to Bethesda last week. I should know within two months what they plan to do with me. I know I plan to get out anyways, but its a blow to your ego to have someone tell you you're no longer medically fit to serve your country. Especially when there's a war going on and people are dying everyday. My knees are just messed up, its not like I caught a bullet or anything. I feel like I've let every other Marine down. I know I have a good life, but everyone's allowed to feel a little "woe is me" every once in a while.

On a lighter note, here's a geek joke ...

There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those that understand binary and those that don't.