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| Oh happy day |
| 07.30.04 (1:28 pm) [edit] |
Well, I'm much better than I was yesterday. I took everything she had in the house and threw it into one of the spare bedrooms. Rather forcefully at times. LOL So the house is now mine. Next, I cleaned the house. Well, most of it anyways. It IS kinda big for just one person ya know. So its clean, the way I like it and all her shit is away. I feel much better now. My doggies and kitties are happy too. We slept on my pullout couch last night, cuz I haven't had time to wash (disinfect) the sheets on my Cal King bed. I decided to spite her and I'm going to sleep in it even though she asked me not to. In fact, I'm taking some Scuba and Miss Kendy advice (although i had already thought of it) and going to have some hot monkey sex all over the house with my GF.
Plans for tonight: Go to Steve's, pick up my golf clubs, my playstation and my scotch. From there, we had out to a bar to see Wasp in concert. I have no idea who they are. Really don't care. Live music, drinks, food, how can you go wrong? After that, I'm picking up J for a weekend at my place. It'll be our first at my place. She gets to meet my zoo and see my house before I give them away and sell it, respectively.
Right now: Rocking out to some Evanescence and drinking a Guiness. (drink guiness in a bottle ... brilliant!!)
Earlier: Did some cleaning and about 4 hours worth of yard work. I shoulda taken before and after pictures. Then I could have put some sort of sexual innuendo for a blog title to attract visitors. Oh wait, thats someone else's blog!! :P She's gonna smack me for that one, I just know this.
Thank you to all my friends and tblog friends and those are beginning to blur the two. Ya'll have been great. I never lack for someone to talk to about everything. Thus far I have managed to get through everything the beeeeeyach has thrown at me without drinking excessively, smoking, destroying anything or just losing my mind in general. And of course special thanks to J (not tblog J). She's been everything I've needed her to be. I owe a great deal of my mental health to her. Thanks baby.
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| Infected |
| 07.29.04 (9:28 am) [edit] |
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I've made it ... almost. I should have went home hours ago. I prolly could have. Too much work to be done and I don't want to go home. That place just makes me ill. Its like she's infected it. I found a pair of her underwear all rolled down, like it was taken off in a hurry, stuffed in my couch. MY FUCKING COUCH!! It made me sick. The least she could do is fuck them in the same bed that she and I used to sleep in. All her shit is boxed up in the master bedroom. I'm thinking about sticking all her shit in the garage with the cricket spiders then pissing all over her bed. Bitch. I don't wanna go home. Its infected.
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| Late Nights |
| 07.27.04 (8:55 am) [edit] |
So I made it through my first late night. I left work about 3pm and went to the gym. Got in a good interval workout along with some lifting. Picked up some dinner on my way out of the gym; Beef Strogonoff from Noodles and Company. Mmmmm ... What was I just saying? LOL
I went back into work at about 6pm and didn't leave until about 1am. Luckily, I'm staying right down the street for a few nights so I didn't have too drive far.
Now, I've done my morning work, eaten my lunch and I'm ready to go take a nap. I can't wait to do this again on Wednesday. Really. Yeah right!!
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| Another weekend |
| 07.26.04 (4:43 am) [edit] |
Whew!! What a weekend!!
It was very rollercoasterish. I don't think that's a word, but I don't care. Things were either really good or really bad this weekend. There wasn't much in between.
Friday night, I spent at my house. The ex was gone to Baltimore for the weekend, so I stayed with my animals. They were happy to see me. It was a virtual pig pile on me!! Boths dogs and both cats were all over me. I pulled out the couch (its a queen sleeper) and slept downstairs. My old bed just seems kind of wrong now knowing that my ex wife has had more sex in it than I have. A LOT more. Oooh! As I'm going through my nightstand, looking for anything important that I might have forgotten, I find the box of condoms that we bought just before we separated. We used one before we separated. There were only four left and several wrappers in and around the bed. Yet she has the gall to give me a hard time for having a girlfriend. Hypocritical bitch ...
So I left sat morning, got my haircut (at my regular barber, whoo-hoo!!) and grabbed all the shit I needed for the concert Sat night. The concert was AWESOME!! It was Evanascence with 3 days Grace, Breaking Benjamin (who was surprisingly VERY good) and Seether. Did you know that Seether's lead singer is a big fat guy with long greasy hair that bears a remarkable resemblance to Cousin It? Neither did I. lol
We tailgated in the parking lot for a few hours beforehand. Cooked up some burgers, grilled some corn, J (my GF) made some twice baked potatoes that we heated up, bratworst (cuz sausage goes with everything) and a bunch of other stuff. And of course ... beer. The whole night was cool. At one point, J and I had to disappear for some "alone time". We found a nice dark spot against a fence. As we start sharing some "alone time", we realize that there was a whole group of people that could see us and were cheering us on. It was pretty funny. On a deeper level, its been a long time since anyone has kissed me that passionately that it rated to be cheered on. So it was good on many levels. Hey, I've got 6 years of neglect to make up for!!
Sunday, I went with my ex to interview a potential family for my dogs. Hagen fit in well, loving everyone, bouncing around and just generally being herself. Lelu was a little more uncomfortable with all the kids around and stuff. Plus, the woman whose house it was tried to grab her from behind without knowing Lelu and Lelu snapped at her. Well, no shit dumbass. She claims she was good with dogs, but I think she always had dogs that were good with her. Hagen would be happy there and may end up there, but Lelu will need to find a quieter home with someone who's a little more dog savvy.
The whole time we were there, Sibyl was crying. She had a hard time seeing her dog happy with someone else. I couldn't blame her for that. She almost made me cry. The good news with her is she's beyond the "I want you back" phase and is onto the "I'm the devil" phase. Whatever makes her happy. I don't give a shit.
Spent sunday night with J. It was nice. What a difference though. Nothing like spending time with your ex-wife to ruin your day with your girlfriend. Welcome to my at-times-overly-dramatic life. lol
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| TGIF |
| 07.23.04 (3:51 am) [edit] |
I slept sooooooooooooooo good last night. Stupid alarm went off and I wanted to smash it into oblivion. I kept closing my eyes and thinking it was Sat and I didn't have to get up. It didn't work. It almost made me late though. Oh well. At least its friday.
Some dude sent me the link to this funny ass military website. I think he's a little messed in the head. Regardless, its good for nice deep belly laugh.
http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html" title="http://www.skippyslist.com/skippylist.html" target="_blank"http://www.skippyslist.com/sk...
I'm hungry. Someone bring me some breakfast!! lol That never works, but I figured I'd try anyways.
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| Perfect Day |
| 07.22.04 (3:48 am) [edit] |
[b]PERFECT DAY FOR A WOMAN[/b]
8:15
Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30
Weigh 5lbs. lighter than yesterday
8:45
Breakfast in bed, squeezed orange juice and croissants
9:15
Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil
10:00
Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30
Facial , manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00
Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafe.
12:45
Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.
1:00
Shopping with friends.
3:00
Nap.
4:00
A dozen roses delivered by florist. Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15
Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage.
5:30
Pick outfit for dinner. Primp before mirror.
7:30
Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00
Hot shower. Alone.
10:30
Make love.
11:00
Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
11:15
Fall asleep in his big, strong arms.
[b]A PERFECT DAY FOR A MAN[/b]
6:00
Alarm.
6:15
Blowjob.
6:30
Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00
Breakfast. Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and tea.
7:30
Limo arrives.
7:45
Bloody Mary en route to airport
8:15
Private jet to Augusta Georgia.
9:30
Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45
Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:30 Blowjob
11:45
Lunch. 2 dozen oysters on the half shell. 3 Heinekens.
12:15
Blowjob.
12:30
Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
2:15
Limo back to airport. Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:20
Blowjob
2:30
Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas. Nap.
3:15
Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
4:15
Blowjob
4:30
Catch world record light tackle marlin - 1249 lbs.
5:00
Jet back home. En route, get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00
Watch Sportscenter.
7:30
Dinner. Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20oz. New York strip.
9:00
Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00
Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00
Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45 Go to bed.
11:46
One last blowjob
11:59
Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart.
Watch the dog leave the room.
12:00
Laugh yourself to sleep.
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| Geek Joke |
| 07.20.04 (3:57 pm) [edit] |
There are 10 kinds of people in this world.
Those that understand binary and those that don't.
This joke goes out to all my fellow geeks. May IBM someday develop magic server pixie dust.
[i]Server goes down, sprinkle a little dust ... server's back up![/i]
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| Drama update |
| 07.20.04 (7:09 am) [edit] |
So my wife pulled the "I don't want to live anymore" card on me. I had to go down and visit her last night. She gave me a ration of crap about how she wants me back and I'm everything she never knew she always wanted. What a crock of shit! She made me twist the knife even more by asking me to stay with her over and over again. Eventually, I just had to flat out tell her I don't love her anymore and I don't think I have for years. Why can't I just be an asshole and let her wallow in her own misery?
Side note, and slightly humerous: Remember how I blogged earlier about how I wished she would crash her shiny new car? Guess what ... someone ran into her a stop light yesterday. Yup, I couldn't believe it. Its just a couple of scratches, but she was still really upset about it. Maybe I should blog about winning the lottery ...
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| For SheSpecies and TigerLilly |
| 07.19.04 (12:17 pm) [edit] |
You said it ladies, not me.
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| New Music |
| 07.19.04 (8:56 am) [edit] |
Actually, its old music come back to revisit me. I was cruising home from work last week and I decided I was sick of all the junk in my changer, so I whipped out an old disc I burned almost when I first moved here. It has some Tantric on it, which I loved. For those that don't know, Tantric was the old Days of the New and have since broken up again anyways. Their style is a lot of talented acoustic guitar playing. There's some electric in there as well, but for the most part they were all acoustic. One of the songs has taken on new meaning given my current position in life. Its called Mourning.
[i]In the mourning I can see the sights
No wonder I could never keep you satisfied
In the mourning I can see inside
Myself and all the things that you were trying to hide[/i]
Been busy today. I've received about 5000 emails I think. Leaves me little time to do actual work! Just kidding. I'm too busy to finish this post, so screw it!! Its going up as is.
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| An oldie but goodie |
| 07.19.04 (6:58 am) [edit] |
I'm sure most of ya'll have heard this one before, but it cracks me up everytime.
SIPPING VODKA
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, " When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to
get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say " Eat me" .
12)The Virgin Mary is not called " Mary with the Cherry,.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
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| No drama ensued ... |
| 07.18.04 (4:19 pm) [edit] |
Thanks to everyone for the kind words. Especially SheSpecies and her magical boobs. lol
I had a most fantastic weekend. Granted, Friday night sucked. But Sat morning, I woke up and played some Madden. I won like 132-0. If only the Patriots could really do that to the Dolphins. For the record, I don't play for the challenge. I play to work out my aggressions and the Pats squishing the fish 132-0 does just that!
So the hunger hits me at about 10am. I wandered around Burke (where I'm living now) for about an hour looking for somewhere to get a good bacon egg and cheese bagel sandwich. I'd been good with my eating habits all week and I soooooo deserved it. I couldn't find an Einstein Bagels though. Einstein is probably the best around here. So I go back home and google search it. I found one a little ways down the street. As I'm pulling out, AG (angry bear) pulls in. He's got to pick up some bookshelves up in Arlington and he doesn't think they'll fit in his car. So we go up to Arlington to pick up his bookshelves, of course after stopping at Einstein for a nice BEC bagel sandwich and a big ol' coffee.
Long story short, the damn shelves barely fit in my Jeep so we take the backroads home so I can drive slow with the shelves hanging out the back. It was a beautiful day, had the tunes cranked and just driving. It was peaceful. We got back and I helped him build his shelves. We FUBAR'ed them the first time and had to take the whole damn thing apart, but again it was cool.
After I finished that, I headed up to J's place (not tblog J, my sort of GF J) to rebuild her computer for her. As I'm working, we curled up on the couch watching rerun after rerun of Mad TV. It was hilarious. The whole day was just very peaceful and relaxing. Later that night, we went out with S, my SNCOIC of sorts, to Lulu's. Its a club up in DC. I kept trying to drink enough so that I could dance, but my retarded tolerance was in full effect and I just couldn't drink fast enough. Oh well. At about 1am, we went to this all open air club in DC. The place had a real cool feel to it. Drinks were miserably expensive and not very good, but it was still cool. I started bullshitting with this dude in the bathroom who was from Spain. He was cool. Later as the 3 of us (me J and S) are sitting there, some other dude comes over trying to hit on S. I don't think she was real impressed. He was funny though. He kept trying to tell impressive stories about his dealings with the military, not realizing he's talking to an Airman (airwoman?, I need a ruling here) a Soldier and a Marine. It made us chuckle. He thought J and I were married. I got a kick out of that. We are pretty cool together, but damn!! lol
So on to J. I have discovered that she is developing feelings towards me. That didn't really suprise me, but it does scare the shit out of me on many levels. I'm not ready for something serious, I don't want to hurt her and I am no where near ready to love someone again. There's something about her that is just intoxicating though. Her smell, her touch, her laugh. We agreed to just let things be what they are. I have some things to figure out about myself before I get into anything again. I can't describe the way she makes me feel though. Its just a sense of relaxation. No pressure, no expectations. I'm allowed to just sit back and enjoy it. And she is a physical person like me. I always wanted to be touched like she touches me. I'm not talking about sexual stuff either. I won't blog about that! Sorry, Scuba. But she touches my arms, touches my legs, touches my back, my hair, my face. She's touched me more lovingly in two weeks than my wife did our entire marraige. Its hard to not just sit back and enjoy it.
I know people will have a million things they want to say about what I should and shouldn't do. I really don't care though. My weekend with her made for one of the most fantastic weekends I've had in a long time. Just let me enjoy it ...
Next weekend, I'm planning a getaway to the Merriweather Post Pavilion to see Evanescence, Seether, 3 days Grace and Breaking Benjamin. Its one of those outdoor, bring a blanket and tailgate in the parking lot before hand kind of places. It should be cool. I can't wait.
So, after an evil Friday night, no more drama ensued. Just a great weekend. 8)
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| Night with the Ex |
| 07.16.04 (7:30 pm) [edit] |
Sad news to report. I will be selling my house and giving away my animals. I cannot afford to keep my house and pay off the ex at the same time. On that same note, I cannot afford another house with a yard in the DC area. I couldn't even afford to buy my own house now. In 3 years, it has appreciated about $75,000. Thats just too rich for my blood.
There is a woman at work who has been in love with my dog, Lelu, since she first saw pictures of her. She always bugs me that she would take my dog. On monday, I will ask her to take Lelu. I will ask her to take Hagen as well. My ex will take her cat and I will more than likely be able to take my cat. But the dogs will go.
I cried my eyes out tonight. I cry as I write this. For everything I have ever done wrong to them, or anyone else, my dogs have always loved me. As I walked in the house for the first time in almost a week, my dogs were doing backflips they were so happy. I realized that the only reason I was trying to keep that house was to keep them. I won't pen them up in a townhouse or condo. They need running room and this friend of mine at work will be able to provide that. I hope she was serious about her offer. I won't let them go unless I know they'll be happy.
Someday, maybe I'll forgive her for making me do this. But tonight, I'm ready to tear the world apart with my bare hands. Fuck her and all her greedy obsessions. I hope her shiny new car gets hit by a fucking train. I have a new theme song for my divorce. Its Papa Roach's Between Angels and Insects.
[i]Take my money
Take my possessions
Take my obsessions
I don't need that shit
Fuck your money
Fuck your possessions
Fuck your obsessions
I don't need your shit[/i]
Fuck her for making me do this. That should say something though. I'm perfectly OK with losing her but absolutely heartbroken about giving up my animals.
Please don't comment on this one. I just wanted to vent. Otherwise I would either drink the pain away or find something to break. This seemed like the healthier of the alternatives.
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| Ultimate Frisbee |
| 07.16.04 (3:36 am) [edit] |
So I played ultimate frisbee last night. I hurt. I should just end the story there, as there was nothing good to tell. lol Not really. We got our ass handed to us, but it was a good time regardless.
We start off by my getting volunteered to drive into DC (we played on the National Mall). I had FOUR women in my jeep at the same time. Yeah, I'm a stud. lol Anyways, I had to do a little curb hopping while trying to parallel park my Jeep Grand Cherokee in DC. It was funny, but in the end, I pulled off one hell of a parking job.
Everybody else shows up late. Both the rest of our team and the opposing team. In the mean time, two softball games start up to our left and right. This means our field will consist of right field for one game and left field for another game. Not gonna work. Ol' girl in charge of the whole thing showed them the permit and told them to "get the F-- out!!". LOL Not really.
The game begins. The opposing team is a bunch of friggin college kids. Bastards. We stayed fairly even the first few points, but it was clear that they play all the time. Most of us hadn't played in years. And I was the speed demon among us. And I am NOT fast. We ended up losing in a most embarrassing fashion. Final was 15-3. I think they were counting by two's at the end, but we really didn't care. We just wanted it to end.
For the most part, I lined up with this big lurchy pretty boy mofo. He kept getting pissed off cuz I was assaulting him. He'd jump in my way then get mad when I ran into him. Whine whine whine. I miss playing combat frisbee. I'da messed him up good. Eventually, he gave up on me and they put the tall goofy looking bastard with the multicolored socks on me. He was just too damn tall for me. I know, I know. Excuses are like assholes, everybody's got one and they're usually full of shit. Oh well. I had fun. Except for the fact that I can't walk this morning. My knees are shot. They crunched something fierce just trying to get out of my now-half-deflated aerobed.
Tonight, I get to meet with the ex and finish the separation agreement. The only thing left after tonight is the house and trying to get her name off my auto loan. I know she's going to ask me to stay. I've already decided under no circumstances will I stay with her. I'd rather sleep on my deflated aerobed. lol
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| Work to do |
| 07.14.04 (9:36 am) [edit] |
Yup. Got work to do, but all my damn users disappeared on me. Oh well. Bloggy, bloggy time.
So its a disgusting topic, but I just gotta say it. I finally got to leave the headquarters compound today and venture off into our newest building. Been stuck at hqs for over a week now. Th real reason I was happy to get out? I got to sit on my favorite (lucky) throne today. Yes, there is one shitter in one bathroom in one building that is more special than any other shitter out there.
The lighting is just perfect, not too bright. The seat is always clean. They always put the good TP in there instead the 120 grit sandpaper they put in all the other stalls. And the best part ... its not an automatic flush. There is no worse evil than trying to do your business and getting water splashed up your ass every 3 seconds. Everytime you so much as THINK about moving, the toilet flushes. I can't stand that. Thats a Nazi Communist plot as well. I don't know what those nazi communists are up to, but its evil.
I apologize for the graphic nature of my post, but I felt it had to be said.
In other news, I'm going to play Ultimate Frisbee on the National Mall tomorrow night. Whoo-hoo!! I haven't played in years. Ever since I left a Marine Unit, in fact. I was already warned that its Ultimate Frisbee, not Combat Frisbee. Oh well. It'll be fun just the same. I wonder if I can still throw it from one end of the field and score ...
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| All star game |
| 07.14.04 (3:52 am) [edit] |
So I'm watching the All-Star game last night. (you love how I start these stories, don't you. lol) I notice that the AL is up 6-1 and there is a new pitcher coming in for the NL. I think, hey thats pretty cool. You know, being that I'm a Red Sox fan and thus rooting for the AL. Then I notice that its only the top of the second inning. I think, wow! Someone (the NL pitcher) got blasted for 6 runs in the first inning. It makes me chuckle a bit. Then I remember ... Roger Clemens started for the NL!! I fell off the couch I was laughing so hard. Fuck that Benedict Arnold traitorous mother fucker!! The only thing that could have made it better was if someone hit and line drive right into his fat ass head. I guess you can't get everything you want. lol It made me happy regardless.
In honor of this post, I am posting my Red Sox joke. This one's for you, Coldtones.
[i]A Boston Red Sox fan, a Chicago Cubs fan and a NY Yankee fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of the sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them.
The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were
sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.
By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The Cubs fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went
through. The Cubs fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.
The Yankee fan was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Yankee fan out crying like a little girl.
The Red Sox fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the greatest baseball team in the world, your supporters are the
best and most loyal baseball fans in all the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
Thanks, your most Royal Highness," the Red Sox fan replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.
Tie the Yankee fan to my back."[/i]
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| Murphy's Laws of Combat |
| 07.13.04 (4:03 am) [edit] |
This is an assortment of my favorites. Feel free to add to the list.
- When the going gets tough, the tough go cyclic.
- Friendly fire - isn't.
- Recoilless rifles - aren't.
- Suppressive fires - won't.
- A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
- If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
- Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo.
- If at first you don't succeed, call in an air strike.
- Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
- Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
- If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.
- The enemy diversion you're ignoring is their main attack.
- No plan ever survives initial contact.
- Five second fuses always burn in three seconds.
- The easy way is always mined.
- Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.
- When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.
- Incoming fire has the right of way.
- No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
- No inspection ready unit has ever passed combat.
- If the enemy is within range, so are you.
- The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
- Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.
- Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.
- Tracers work both ways.
- Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.
- Military Intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
- Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
- Killing for peace is like whoring for virginity.
- It's not the round with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you need to worry about.
- When in doubt, empty your magazine.
- Combat will occur on the ground between two adjoining maps.
- The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
- Every command which can be misunderstood, will be.
- Teamwork is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
- The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
- Happiness is a belt fed weapon.
- C-4 can make a dull day fun.
- Thousands of Veterans earned medals for bravery every day. A few were even awarded.
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| Pics of my boxers |
| 07.12.04 (3:00 pm) [edit] |
First I will start out with pics of my new room. At least its my room until I can move back into my house. Its a little spartan, but I really don't care.
Lastly I will post the picture that apparently everyone is dying for though I can't figure out why ... a picture of my boxers. So here they are. Don't worry, they're clean. :D
You didn't think I was going to be [i]in[/i] them, did you? Pervs!! lol
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| Traffic |
| 07.12.04 (11:54 am) [edit] |
Traffic sucks. I'm stuck up here because an 18 wheeler jackknifed, another 18 wheeler ran into that one and then a tour bus flipped over. And then the cars started running into each other. Yup. No hope of getting home tonight. I should go to the gym. I hate the gym up here though. They keep the heat on during the summer, I swear.
I'm thinking about hitting up the brewery, but its only Monday. There's something rather pathetic about that. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck. Damn traffic ...
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| My Favorite time of day |
| 07.12.04 (8:25 am) [edit] |
Guess what time it is? Lunch time!! Easily, my favorite time of day.
Work is work, busy as hell. Yada yada yada, monkeyfucker.
I don't have a ton to blog about. So why blog you ask? Good fucking question. Because I can, I suppose.
I need a vacation. And then I need a vacation from my vacation.
The new NCAA football game comes out for PS2 this week. I'm all over it like white on rice on a paper plate during a snowstorm. Then in August, I will buy the new Madden and import my draft classes from NCAA. And the Patriots will win every Super Bowl for the next 30 years. And Virginia Tech will win every National Championship for the next 30 years. And beer will rain from the sky and women will throw themselves at me and world peace will ensue and ... oh ... thats not in the game. Sorry. For the real EA Sports freaks, get it? In the game? Ha ha ha
I'm rambling. Cuz Loooord I was born a Raaambling man!!
Time to go back to work.
They're coming to take me away hee hee
They're coming to take me away ha ha
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all day long
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| Post-weekend |
| 07.12.04 (3:23 am) [edit] |
No time to blog this past weekend, so I'm gonna have to put it all in here. Lets start with last Friday. I was supposed to do about a hundred things but just ended up at my SNCOIC's place (with a pool, of course) ate pizza and drank a couple rum and cokes. It was cool. Just talking, bullshitting and all around fucking off. I went home friday, where my wife is still living. Big mistake. I need a new paragraph for this ...
She cried, actually more like sobbed hysterically to the point she almost made herself sick, and tried to get me to take her back. This was the first time I realized that the decision to divorce was truly more me than her. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. (AKA she wants to be able to fuck around whenever she wants but always have me to fall back on) Well, that ain't gonna happen. I'm a strong guy, emotionally, but I see no need to subject myself to that. I might as well chop off my left hand since I'm righty anyways. So the sob session lasted for a good 3 or 4 hours. In the morning, I started packing my shit. By Sat afternoon, I packed everything I wanted (and could fit) in my Jeep and moved into Angry Bear's place. He had offered a couple times and now I took him up on it. Right ...
Sat night I went out on my first real "date" since ... holy cow ... yeah, since I was like 18. I was nervous as all get out. She kept telling me to relax. Part of what I was nervous about was I had no idea where my ex was that night and really really really really didn't want to run into her. Especially after the sobbing thing the other night, she's pretty ticked that I am trying to move on when she thinks we should be giving it one more chance ( to make a grand total of 4 "chances"). So we (my date and I) tried to go see Anchorman, but when we got to the theater, it was sold out. We looked through about 20 something movies and the only thing that wasn't sold out was Dodgeball. So I buy 2 tickets to that but when we got inside the theater, there were people sitting in the aisles and no seats were available. We looked at each other and said "Blockbuster". We rented Matchstick Men, which was really good for the record. I'll refrain from posting any details of the rest of the evening ... or the next morning. Come to think of it, lets just fast forward to Sunday afternoon. :oops:
Sunday, I talk to the ex. She tells me she needs my signature for some paperwork. This is never a good thing. She traded in her car, 2001 Honda Civic EX, for a 2004 Mustang GT convertible with the 4.6L V8. She can't really afford the payment, but we already agreed to how much I'm paying her so its up to her to live within those bounds. She's happy about it. She hasn't got laid yet, but at least she bought her dream car and is as happy as a pig in shit. Whatever makes her happy. I'm just glad to see her living her life for herself instead trying to be someone that she thinks other people want her to be. Its about time and I think it was a big step forward for her in the healing process.
Other than that, I'm now living in a different part of Virginia and I have no idea where I am most of the time. Gotten lost a couple times now, but its helped me learn my way around. I made it to work this morning at least! lol
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| Random pics from my phone |
| 07.08.04 (8:13 am) [edit] |
OK, I don't have the pictures from my brother yet. But since J keeps bugging me :), I will post the ones from my phone.
All these were taken last weekend at some point. In Chronological order ...
This is Hagan. Hagan just had a bath. Hagan is NOT happy with me. She was also wondering why I'm pointing my phone at her.
This is a horse from the 4th of July parade, conveniently done on the 3rd of July. How un-American is that? lol
My buddy, Angry Bear, practicing his hand and arm signals.
Me, practicing my hand and arm signals.
Ooooo ... perdy fireworks. lol It really was a good show.
Thats all for now. More when my bro sends them to me.
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| Blog etiquette |
| 07.07.04 (5:29 am) [edit] |
I seldom complain about other bloggers, except for Mr. Split personality-seven bloggers at once-Bush is resonsible for all the evil in the world and it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm a fucking moron - boy. You all know who I'm talking about. Anyways, last night I posted my 5 things blog. Within five minutes, someone has posted the exact same blog, answering the same questions number by number. Now I have no problem with this, as it is a free internet (for now). However, proper etiquette would dictate that you either comment on my blog or give me credit on your blog. I received neither. Thats just bad bloggin etiquette in my mind. Anyways ...
I'm back it work. Just in case you were wondering, it doesn't suck any less than when I left. I'm back down at the Pentagon because little, if anything, got done while I was on leave. Typical.
I need a vacation. My soon-to-be ex doesn't want me to keep our time share (she's jealous that she can't afford it) so thats out. I thought about going to Germany for a couple of weeks with my buddy. He was stationed there for years and is dying to go back. It would have been perfect. Down the broken toilet goes that idea. lol
Thats all for now. I might do $1 drafts tonight. It IS wednesday after all ...
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| 5 Things |
| 07.06.04 (5:48 pm) [edit] |
I'm feeling like a little self exploration (sexual innuendo? alas, no).
[b]5 Things that you think you know about me and are probably right[/b]
1. I'm a jarhead
2. I'm going through a divorce and it blows
3. If I were a movie, they would rate it R for language alone, much less everything else I do
4. I live in DC
5. I'm artistically retarded
[b]5 things that you think you know about me and are probably wrong[/b]
1. I can be a nice guy, but I'm capable of some fairly dispicable things
2. I haven't been with nearly as many women as most people think
3. Its because I was married, not cuz I'm retarded or anything
4. OK, I am a little retarded
5. I'm not a alcomoholic. I drink often, but don't often drink to excess.
[b]5 things you definitely didn't know about me[/b]
1. I played dungeons and dragons as a kid. All in all, I was pretty geeky in high school, despite being a letterman in three sports.
2. I was accepted to the US Military Academy and US Air Force Academy out of high school. Instead, I took an AFROTC scholarship at a local school. I eventually dropped out my freshman year and enlisted in the Marines. I have never regretted it. In fact, it was one of the better decisions I ever made.
3. I once slept with an ex g/f to extract revenge on a current g/f. It worked. That was one of the stupidest decisions I ever made.
4. I'm afraid to have children because I don't want them to go through what I did growing up.
5. I'm [i]deathly[/i] afraid of heights.
[b]5 absolutely useless facts about me[/b]
1. I L-O-V-E beer.
2. My life revolves almost entirely around my stomach. I worry more about my next meal than anything else in life.
3. I was a boy scout when I was little, had a million merit badges but never bothered to pick up rank.
4. I'm 5'10", 185 lbs, have a 34" waist, 42" jacket and 16" collar.
5. Despite all my faults, I still manage to be the most arrogant m/f'er I know.
Thank you for coming with me on this voyage of self discovery. Feel free to post your answers to my 5 things game.
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| Back from vacation |
| 07.06.04 (5:26 pm) [edit] |
So, I come back from leave tomorrow. I really don't want to. Really really really.
I didn't actually go anywhere, but my brother came down and brought his fiance and her (oversugared) 10 year old son. All my animals and me passed out this morning after they left. Nappy nappy time. I should be back to my old blogging self tomorrow. I've gotten some complaints. Tough crowd.
I found that the hardest part of hanging out with a 10 year old is filtering my language to a PG level. Lets face it, I have a mouth like a Marine. I know, who'da thought? My buddy came with me on the 4th to watch the fireworks in DC. We spent so much time watching our language that by the time we left the only thing we could say to each other was fuck fuckity fuck fuck fucker just to get it off our chest.
I have a bunch of pictures from my vacation that I will post as soon as my brother sends them to me. There are a couple in my phone, but nothing fantastic. You can wait. lol
Its kind of good to be back. :D
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| From Shark's Blog |
| 07.06.04 (5:17 pm) [edit] |
The University of Blogging
Presents to
Saint027
An Honorary
Bachelor of
Emo
Majoring in
Non Sequiturs
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Blogging Degree
From Go-Quiz.com
WTF does Emo mean?!?! What is this, Sesame street?!?! Fuck this quiz!! lol
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| 4th of July Parade |
| 07.03.04 (8:08 am) [edit] |
The 4th of July Parade just finished. My house is on the parade route so all I have to do is walk out my front door with my coffee and plop myself in the yard. The thing that threw me off is I thought it was tomorrow. Silly me, thinking the 4th of July Parade would be on ... the 4th of July!! Anyways, it was pretty cool. The highlight was the Marine Band from Quantico. The sounded and looked fanastic. They were out there in Dress Blues too. It must have been about 90 degrees too. The rest was alright. The end sucked. You kept waiting for the grand finale. Fire trucks,police cars, something loud. No. It just ended. All the sudden there were no more floats. Whatever...
Going to the Smithsonian today. Not sure which one. My brother is in town with his might-as-well-be wife and her 10 year old son. So we're pretty much going whereever he wants to go. He's staying in DC on the 4th though (at the Watergate) so tomorrow I will go get patriotically inebriated (spelling, I know).
Ol' girl has been text messaging me a lot. I think its a good sign. I hope she comes back early. My bro will be here for a week. No sex and no opportunity to take care of things myself. I'm like a loaded gun.
*reminds self, never point a weapon at anything you do not intend to shoot*
lol
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