Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2005 May
2005 April
2005 February
2004 December
2004 November
2004 October
2004 September
2004 August
2004 July
2004 June
2004 May
My Links
New England Patriots
National Football League
US Marines Website
ESPN
College Humor
Scuba Diva's Blog
KrazedOne's Blog
Shespecies's Blog
Rinna's Blog
Scarlettgkpi's Blog
Miss Kendy's Blog
Shark99's Blog
RainDropEcho's Blog
Cyberpal's Blog
Coldtones' Blog
LyonDenyIt's Blog, a fellow tanker
Daydrmblvr's Blog
Brogonzo's Blog
Newlife's Blog
Lawngnome's Blog
Daisymae's Blog
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
|
| New Jokes |
| 05.27.05 (8:43 am) [edit] |
I've accumulated quite a few jokes/pics/etc since I last maintained this. Here's a couple.
A girl is standing at The Gates Of Heaven when she hears horrible screams of pain and torture coming from inside.
She says to St. Peter, "What's going on?"
He says, "That's the sound of new angels getting big holes drilled into their backs for their wings, and small holes drilled into their heads for their halos."
She says, "Heaven sounds terrible. I think maybe I'd rather go to Hell."
St. Peter says, "In Hell, you'll be constantly raped and sodomized."
She says, "That's okay, I've already got holes for that.
------------------------- ---------
The next time you're at a loss for words.
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their coworkers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with coworkers.
Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting bitch.
3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No fucking way.
5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be shitting me!
6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a shit.
7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my fucking problem.
8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the fuck?
9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This shit won't work.
10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner?
11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ass.
12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat shit and die.
13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ass.
14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: Fuckl it, I'm on salary.
15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ass.
16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.
17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?
18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a fucking prick.
Thank You,
Management
|
|
|
| |
| Beer Pictures |
| 05.27.05 (8:34 am) [edit] |
At the request of ... well one person ... here are the pictures of my beer. They're not very interesting. I just promised I'd post them.
Thats pretty sad. I only have one fan now. LOL
This is the beer in the pot.
This is the beer going into the barrel. I had to kick around for 10 minutes after adding the yeast. It was a little strange and quite the leg workout!!
|
|
|
| |
| Sounding Board |
| 05.26.05 (10:50 am) [edit] |
I have more issues than Sports Illustrated sometimes.
Here I am. Just closed on a house with Julie. Almost all stress has been removed from my life. We're happy as can be. And I have managed to find something thats eating me up.
The situation: Julie dated this guy at the agency we work at before I met her. They dated a couple of months. No biggie. Well, before I met her, I had a few run-in's with this guy. He's a fucking asshole. Just before I got out of the Marine Corps, they sent me up there to fix his computer. He had gone through a couple of contractors before they sent me. He would verbally berate them, yell at them and not let them do their job. So they send in me, the big bad Marine.
So I go up there in uniform. He starts in on me about how I was just another incompetant from the Help Desk. I politely inform I don't work for the helpdesk, I'm not incompetant and I'm here to fix his system. He gives some more attitude and I ask him if he wants me to fix his system or not. He gives me the "Well, yeah!!". So I told him to shut the fuck up and go somewhere else. We had a few more verbal exchanges before the end of the day.
During this time, I talked to a few of the people that work for him. Of course they all "love" him to death. Most of them are very nice people. I was telling one of them how I just started dating Julie. He comes in and asks who it is because if she works here and she's good looking, he's fucked her. So I tell him. He says, "yup, I fucked her". I'm not sure what they had to do with anything. I asked Julie about it at the time, being sure to let her know that what she did before me is none of my business. She tells me she dated him for a few months. No biggie. He dumped her to go back with an ex (that he's still with and she works here too). At the time, I figured .. whatever. It doesn't matter.
Then the other day, I'm talking to one of my co-workers when someone screams from across the room. My coworker (A, as I will call him) tells the guy. The guy yells back "well who the fuck is that?? What the fuck do you guys do??". So I push my chair back so I can see who it is. Guess who? Yup, asshole. So I stand up and explain to him who we are and what we do. Side note, he's checking out the area next to ours because no one sits there now. So he says to me, well it doesn't matter because you guys are nobody and we'll be taking your area. Then he tried to square off with me. You know, the manly shoulder lunge. I about laughed in his face. As he's still over the partition from me, I tell A the story about when I met him. After hearing the story, asshole comes back over and apologizes. Apparently, he heard my story and placed me (now in civvies) as the Marine to told him off.
Anyways, this asshole is going to be moving in right next to me for six weeks. I'll have to talk by him everytime I leave my desk. And all I want to do is punch him in his fucking face.
Here's my question: Why is this bothering me so bad? Its not like I was the first guy Julie was ever with. I know that. Trust me, I benefit greatly from her experience. I wouldn't change her for anything. But for some reason, the thought that she slept with this asshole is driving me insane. I hear him or see him and all I can think of is him fucking her. And somehow he looks over his shoulder and says "see, i fucked your girlfriend".
Now to try and explain this. I'm not mad at her or anything. But somehow, I feel like I'm punishing her for her past. Its not right. I wouldn't like it if she did this to me. But I can't help it. Its driving me crazy. Hopefully, talking it out here will help me feel better.
So far its not ...
|
|
|
| |
| OK I guess I lied |
| 05.05.05 (10:31 am) [edit] |
|
I'm bored. I know I said I wasn't going to post anymore. But I'm bored. I stole this off of thoolou's blog. She had a Marine headline and thusly it grabbed my attention. Anywho, this was amusing ...
I apologize, but its really hard to read. If you highlight the box, you can read it. Stupid fucking thing ...
Your Linguistic Profile: |
55% Yankee |
30% General American English |
10% Dixie |
5% Upper Midwestern |
0% Midwestern |
|
|
|
| |
|
|
